the fleeting found.

i wish i was better at holding on to things. i really can't think of any specific items at the moment. maybe if i remembered them, i wouldn't have let them go in the first place. hmmm...well, makes sense to me.
after typing that first sentence above, i sat staring at my computer screen thinking of some witty material item from my childhood (i.e. a balloon/kite, a CD i sold or threw away) to try a little slight of hand at you so you wouldn't realize when i say "things," i really mean emotions. man, that totally would have worked. well, hand slighting failed.
i was scanning through some of my favorite soundtracks online when i remembered 'garden state.' my mind immediately went to one song. i couldn't recall the name of it or even what it was about, but i remembered the feeling i had when i heard the song. one time in particular.
i was flying out to visit my parents in phoenix. the plane was fairly empty, at least no one around me. i was at the window seat (always am) and it was around 8pm. we were flying above the clouds as the sun was setting. i remembered it was like we were flying over a bright orange carpet that went on forever. probably the most amazing thing i've ever seen in my life. even at the time i thought, "can it really get much better?" well, apparently not, and i'm totally fine with that.
how could i have forgotten that? we're so quick to jump to the next place/thing/person that even when we are in that moment realizing that what you are seeing/what your doing/who you are with and you understand that in THAT moment, it really can't get much better on this planet, it's still fleeting.
how is that possible? do we just think THIS can't be THAT moment? do we expect something better? do expect everything to get way worse? why is it so hard to hold on?
i want to understand and acknowledge from now on when these moments occur. how? excellent question. i wish i knew. cause the next one could be the big one.
i'll leave you with the above memory. maybe it'll help you find one of yours.
isolated on a quiet plane. sunset. clouds. and the song.

and yes, the irony of the chorus is well identified.

now if i could only get that 'garden state' cd back that i loaned out...