remiss to reminisce.

I can't tell you the last time I even thought about high school. I really can't. Now that I do, it really doesn't even feel like it was my life. I'm not sure I can describe it any better than that.
What got me thinking about it after all this time? My pal, Josh Johnson, just put up a Facebook status about going through old journal entries. More specifially, "tore out embarrassing" pages from an old journal.
It got me thinking about some stuff I, or others, had written down ages ago. Ages. How much time much pass to be consider an age? Hmmm. Also, "ages" is one of those words that more times you see it spelled out the less you believe it's actually pronounced as it is. Ages. I don't get it.
I quickly remembered in my questing for reminiscing that I....never kept a journal. I have never kept a schedule. I never write things down.
So, I decided to just do some cliff notes reminiscing and look at pictures. Dusted off the old high school yearbooks and started thumbing through the pages. Wow. It has been a really long time. You know how most pictures you look at you think, "OHHH, this is when we went to that place," or "I remember what I was thinking when this was taken!" Well....none of that. I have no frame of reference for ANY of these photos. Seriously, it really does feel like I'm looking at someone else's life.
Then I found it...well, them rather. The yearbook notes from friends. I have been laughing hysterically through these and thought I'd share a few. So many of these pertain to inside jokes that I am sufficiently now out of. Some are just absolutely crazy. I'm not sure if it will be more funny if you already know these people or not but she be a good read nonetheless. I shall try to recall why what was written WAS written to provide some backstory. This should be fun for everybody. Enjoy.

"General Lee, what's up my homeboy? I miss your El Camino. That was your trademark man. Oh well. I wonder how long that gum is going to sit on that register." - Luke Conard
Wow. The El Camino. My first car. It was a gray '83 Chevy El Camino that you had to dump a quart of oil in every other week. Hated it at the time but REALLY wish I had that thing today. Your guess is as good as mine on the gum comment.

"Do you remember when we were going out and we went on the moonlight together? That was the best time of my life. And remember when I hit you in the face with my locker door and you went home sick because you had a headache? Wow, you were really being a big baby." - Katie Bernhard (Petersen)
For you kids that read this, the moonlight was...well, first of, it was the greatest. Let's clear that right up. The Moonlight was the couples skate at J-4 (roller skating rink) in Ames (it's now the parking lot of Super Wal-Mart). Katie and I were "dating" at the time. I guess you can call it that in 6th grade? Yes, I do remember when she hit me in the face with her locker. That was the first time I took Advil. I chewed it.

"Kevin, I know I'm your best friend and you worship everything I do, but I'm not going to let you have the big parts anymore. I just do it to be nice, so you can kiss the Stage Manager goodbye. I'll probably see you at my house later." - Andy Kucksdorf
Andy, or Andrew as he was in high school (I know, he's cut loose) was one of my bestest friends. We did tons of sports and plays together. There was talks about doing "Our Town" as a play our senior year and the Stage Manager roll was ridiculous. Monologue after monologue. We vowed to fight to death for it, but the play never happened. Then, yes, I can guarantee I went to his house afterwards to play football, and hoping his neighbor, Thune Palczewski, didn't shoot at us with his BB gun.

"Ad Rock, I know I'm your best friend and you worship everything I do, but I'm not going to...wait, maybe I should say something of my own. Get drunk often." - Josh Johnson
We did a Beastie Boys lip sync to 'Intergalatic' at Homecoming our junior year. I was, you guessed, Ad Rock. I never realized how formed our sense of humor was at this age, but going by the "get drunk often" comment, Josh was in peak form even then. Well played, good sir. I do still have the lip sync recorded if anyone wants to watch it. Unfortunately, it's on VHS...so..

"Wow, we've been together for a long time. Remember the elementary days? Those were the days. All the games at recess...and for you, Kari Sundberg. We have had a lot of fun together. I'm glad we got everything fixed between you and Emily. Good luck and have fun!" - BJ Jordison
This might be my favorite. My entire elementary existence could be summed up by Kari Sundberg. Two and a half years together...in elementary?? That has to be a record. Best years ever! (I think it's necessary I put that because I do plan on posting this on Facebook later). I'm not sure we "fixed" everything with Emily, BJ....since, you know.....you married her.

...and speaking of Kari...

"My dearest Kevin, I can't begin to express my abundant love that is boiling inside me. Your voice is like music. Your skin is like a rose. I will always have you to thank for showing me what life, what love, truly means. Will you marry me? P.S. If you say no, I'll find you." - Kari Farley (Sundberg)
Too far? Wait till you read the last one. This reminded me of when Kari and I sat next to each other in Senior Comp. Once a week we had a journaling session. Wait, I guess I did journal!! Our teacher would turn on music...oh, crap...totally forgot it was always Dave Matthews Band. HAHA! That's terrible. Don't mind me. Anyway, these were actually graded journals. Yeah, that was a thing. Kari and I would always write about how in love with each other we were in the most disgustingly eloquent way possible. When we got the entries back from the teacher she would always say things like, "Go for it, Kevin!" We were horrible.

"Kevin, I am so glad we are such good friends. We have gone through so much together. I mean, who else have you traveled the world with? Witnessed the McCoys seven babies being born? Oh, by the way. I really like your hair. It looks beautiful. I am really glad we have this class together. You look SO HOT in P.E. Well, I hope you have a really great year! Love always and forever till death do us part." - Kristi Hall
Obviously, kind of over the top crazy in a silly way, but I wish I could show all of you what this note looks like. THAT is what pushes it over the top. She wrote the thing in four different colors of pen. Then, covered over all of it with four or five more colors in...I guess I'd call it a plaid pattern? I'm thankful I forgot about this, otherwise, every single time I'd turn a light on, open a door, turn around, I'd expect to see Kristi there. Just waiting. With a lock of my hair. I think this may be the winner. So...congrats, Kristi? I guess?

It actually is really cool to go back and read some these. I will still say I wasn't a huge fan of high school for whatever reason, but I really do miss all these people. Wish I could see you all again! Even Kristi.

if it weren't for my horse...

I was at the gas station the morning of March 2nd around 6:55am. I was on my way to Ft. Dodge for work and needed to fill up the tank. I could've done it the night before but, no, I had to wait until bright and early the following morning, when I'm incoherent and already running late.
I now understand everything happens for a reason because of what took place at this magical pit stop. Had I have gotten gas the previous evening, this blog may very well have never been created.
After filling up, I went inside to pick up a cup of boiling, heinous gas station coffee. As I approached the counter, I heard the tail end of a conversation between an employee of the establishment and someone restocking some goods behind the counter.
In my nearly 29 years of existence, this may very well be one of the oddest sentences ever spat out of the mouth of a human being.
This sentence haunted me most of the day. Trying to decipher what precisely she could have been talking about. To this day, the unknown thoughts periodically creep into the deep reaches of my soul as I dread the potential ramifications of what may happen if I am never able to grasp the meaning of this terrible phrase.
If you fail to understand what emotions I'm feeling, perhaps we can get some assistance from the comedian Lewis Black.

Jokes.com
Lewis Black - College Horse
comedians.comedycentral.com
Lewis Black Videos Lewis Black Jokes Stark Raving Black Videos

Every single one of us has been there. I really just wish we had some way to pool of these instances to discuss them as a...well, a support group, if you will, to help each other better understand and/or decipher what it is our fellow human beings were discussing at the time these absurd sentences, regrettably for all passers by, came tumbling off their lips.
I feel now the buildup is complete. Here is the phrase I heard uttered that fateful morning at Phillips 66:

"I was at Wal-Mart the other day and someone picked one out of my hair."

I shrug. This is all I can do. I want, nay, beg to know what in the world this poor girl was talking about.
This is now my quest. I will wrestle to discover to truth behind this statement, but I'm hopeful if I cannot, I can assist you with one of yours.

oscars and the grouch.

That's right, folks. It's Academy Awards night.
Mega millionaires giving awards to each other. Thousands upon thousands of dollars spent on clothing to only be worn for about 4-6 hours. The laughable concept that a group of people are actually attempting to tell us they can pick which movie is best when those films are completely incomparable (see The King's Speech, Inception, and Toy Story 3).
Yep, I love it. I have no reason to. It's terrible television, but I love me some Oscars. I really do love movies, I guess more generally, stories. This is why I am so interested in acting, in case you ever wondered.
The power a story can possess is extremely fascinating to me. A good story can break down barriers, it can change perspectives, it can stir emotions you never knew you had in you, or it can give you something as simple as a much needed laugh.
Unfortunately, I feel film has lost a lot of this over the past decade or two. We see so many remakes, sequels, prequels, "based on a true stories" that it's all just become tired. Originality just seems harder to come by now.
The purpose of all that is to offer my, duh duh DAHHHH, Oscar picks! Hooray!!! I'll name what I want to win (the films and performances that fit what I listed above) and what will win (the same type of movie that always wins) and we'll see how I do.
There are very rarely surprises at the Oscars. It's incredibly easy to pick each year because the same type of films and performances always win, and I'll prove it to you.
And, yes, I'm realizing now how much I'm setting myself up to look like a total idiot. Wow, this could really backfire.


BEST PICTURE - 10 nominees! Wowee!! They upped it from 5 last year in an effort to draw in more attention. Doesn't water it down at all, right?
My pick - Inception - Brilliant concept, completely original. Didn't think I would ever get as invested in Leo's character as I did. I cried at a science fiction movie. That's saying a lot.
The Academy's pick - The King's Speech - Lots of Brits in the cast. Based on a true story. Lots of yelling and people being British. Your winner.

BEST ACTOR
My pick - James Franco, 127 Hours - Yes, based on real events about the dude that cut his hand off when hiking. Emotional and gut-wrenching even though you already know it's coming.
The Academy's pick - Colin Firth, The King's Speech - Well respected actor who has been terrific in numerous films. He wins "full body of work" style rather than for this film only (see Jeff Bridges last year).

BEST ACTRESS
My pick - Natalie Portman, Black Swan
The Academy's pick - Natalie Portman, Black Swan - Weird movie, weirder role. LOCK.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
My pick - Christian Bale, The Fighter - I picked it because of the total transformation he goes through for this. Love him or hate him, he's good.
The Academy's pick - Christian Bale, The Fighter - Another "full body of work" type win rather than strictly for this film. I could seem him not winning because of who he is (anger management issues). If this does cause him to stumble, congrats Geoffrey Rush.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
My pick - Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit - First film ever and she holds her own with Jeff Bridges. Enough said.
The Academy's pick - Melissa Leo, The Fighter - Toughest call I think. Unfortunately, when you're the favorite, I don't think you need to buy out ad pages in magazines and populate them with pictures of your glamour shots that say "Consider..." Maybe a little showy and could actually lose it for her. Also, two actresses from the same movie (Amy Adams) may cancel each other out. If so, Miss Steinfeld just won an Oscar in her first ever movie.

BEST DIRECTOR
My pick - Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan - The man is super weird and so are his movies. Huge gamble making a psychological thriller about ballet but he pulled it off. Actually, my TRUE pick is Christopher Nolan for Inception. How he doesn't get nominated is totally absurd. Here's hoping it at least bring's home Best Visual Effects.
The Academy's pick - Tom Hooper, The King's Speech - Another close one between him and Fincher for The Social Network but 90% of the time whatever wins Best Picture, the director of that film brings home an award also.


I'm also really hoping Inception gets Best Original Screenplay (I can't think of another story, maybe ever, that is more "original") but it won't. That will also go to the Best Picture (it makes sense), The King's Speech.

So, tune in tonight and see how I did. I'm either going to look really smart (by really smart I mean totally lame because who really cares if you're good at this) or very stupid...and lame. So, lame or lame and stupid. Hmmm, glad I just spent time writing this when those are my two potential outcomes. Cool.

the prince of preachers.

CH Spurgeon. The "Prince of Preachers" he was called by some. Maybe I've heard the following term before because of the cliche-ness of it, but this man could paint pictures with words. It truly feels as you read his writings, a painting is coming alive in your mind with each passing sentence. Brilliant. Maybe you won't share in this opinion, but I'd encourage you to give this a read.
It's the opening of a sermon he delivered on January 31, 1864 on Philippians 3:10.

"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death." - King James Version

The object of the apostle's life—that for which he sacrificed everything: country, kindred, honor, comfort, liberty, and life itself, was, that he might know Christ. Observe that this is not Paul's prayer as an unconverted man, that he may know Christ, and so be saved; for it follows upon the previous supplication that he might win Christ and be found in him. This is the desire of one who has been saved, who enjoys the full conviction that his sins are pardoned, and that he is in Christ. It is only the regenerated and saved man who can feel the desire, "That I may know him." Are you astonished that a saved man should have such a desire as this? A moment's reflection will remove your astonishment.
Imagine for a moment that you are living in the age of the Roman emperors. You have been captured by Roman soldiers and dragged from your native country; you have been sold for a slave, stripped, whipped, branded, imprisoned, and treated with shameful cruelty. At last yon are appointed to die in the amphitheatre, to make holiday for a tyrant. The populace assemble with delight. There they are, tens of thousands of them, gazing down from the living sides of the capacious Colosseum. You stand alone, and naked, armed only with a single dagger—a poor defense against gigantic beasts. A ponderous door is drawn up by machinery, and forth there rushes the monarch of the forest—a huge lion; you must slay him or be torn to pieces. You are absolutely certain that the conflict is too stern for you, and that the sure result must and will be that those terrible teeth will grind your bones and drip with your blood. You tremble; your joints are loosed; you are paralyzed with fear, like the timid deer when the lion has dashed it to the ground.
But what is this? O wonder of mercy!—a deliverer appears. A great unknown leaps from among the gazing multitude, and confronts the savage monster. He quails not at the roaring of the devourer, but dashes upon him with terrible fury, till, like a whipped cur, the lion slinks towards his den, dragging himself along in pain and fear. The hero lifts you up, smiles into your bloodless face, whispers comfort in your ear, and bids you be of good courage, for you are free. Do you not think that there would arise at once in your heart a desire to know your deliverer?
As the guards conducted you into the open street, and you breathed the cool, fresh air, would not the first question be, "Who was my deliverer, that I may fall at his feet and bless him?" You are not, however, informed, but instead of it you are gently led away to a noble mansion house, where your many wounds are washed and healed with salve of rarest power. You are clothed in sumptuous apparel; you are made to sit down at a feast; you eat and are satisfied; you rest upon the softest down. The next morning you are attended by servants who guard you from evil and minister to your good. Day after day, week after week, your wants are supplied. You live like a courtier. There is nothing that you can ask which you do not receive.
I am sure that your curiosity would grow more and more intense till it would ripen into an insatiable craving. You would scarcely neglect an opportunity of asking the servants, "Tell me, who does all this, who is my noble benefactor, for I must know him?" "Well, but" they would say, "is it not enough for you that you are delivered from the lion?" "Nay," say you, "it is for that very reason that I pant to know him."
"Your wants are richly supplied—why are yon vexed by curiosity as to the hand which reaches you the boon? If your garment is worn out, there is another. Long before hunger oppresses you, the table is well loaded. What more do you want?"
But your reply is, "It is because I have no wants, that, therefore, my soul longs and yearns even to hungering and to thirsting, that I may know my generous loving friend."
Suppose that as you wake up one morning, you find lying up on your pillow a precious love-token from your unknown friend, a ring sparkling with jewels and engraved with a tender inscription, a bouquet of flowers bound about with a love-motto! Your curiosity now knows no bounds. But you are informed that this wondrous being has not only done for you what you have seen, but a thousand deeds of love which you did not see, which were higher and greater still as proofs of his affection. You are told that he was wounded, and imprisoned, and scourged for your sake, for he had a love to yon so great, that death itself could not overcome it: you are informed that he is every moment occupied in your interests, because he has sworn by himself that where he is there you shall be; his honors you shall share, and of his happiness you shall be the crown.
Why, methinks you would say, "Tell me, men and women, any of you who know him, tell me who he is and what he is;" and if they said, "But it is enough for you to know that he loves you, and to have daily proofs of his goodness," you would say, "No, these love-tokens increase my thirst. If ye see him, tell him I am sick of love. The flagons which he sends me, and the love-tokens which he gives me, they stay me for awhile with the assurance of his affection but they only impel me onward with the more unconquerable desire that I may know him. I must know him; I cannot live without knowing him. His goodness makes me thirst, and pant, and faint, and even die, that I may know him."

Once again, Philippians 3:10 put a little differently.
"My goal is to know him." - Holman Christian Standard Version

What a goal indeed. Thank you, Mr. Spurgeon.

what's love got to do with it: a special valentine's day blog

Valentine's Day is dumb. I've never liked it. Now, I can imagine you already rolling your eyes thinking, "Kevin, it's because you're single. You've been single on Valentine's Day for, like, 15 years." Before you jump to judgement, keep reading. This entry may just go a little different direction then you're expecting.
First of all, it's only been around 11 years since I've had a "valentine." Ballpark. Who's counting? Second of all, being single has nothing to do with my hatred for this "holiday."
Only two reasons exist in my mind and these two reasons are all I require to make my assessment.

Reason #1 - Valentine's Day was made from nothing. NOTHING. I'm not saying it has no purpose. I'm saying the creation of the holiday itself apparently came completely out of left field.
The holiday was named after a St. Valentine. The only factual evidence we have of St. Valentine that has some tie to this holiday we celebrate today is the Catholic Encyclopedia talks of a St. Valentine who's anniversary (not sure what anniversary this is referring to) was dated on Februrary 14. Cute, huh? Well, he was martyred in Africa with a bunch of other dudes. Eesh, not so cute. The date is the ONLY thing that ties this guy to Valentine's Day.
So, how in the world did we come up with this holiday? More info on our saint thanks to Wikipedia.
St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.
The above was information taken from 'The Golden Legend,' which was a collection of medieval manuscripts on a study of the saints written around 1260. Phew. OK, appreciate the info but still not making a connection to V-Day. Here's what follows that story on Wikipedia.
Since 'The Golden Legend' still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.
Spectacular. So, someone "embroidered lore." I could be missing something, but that sounds of fancy way to say, "we totally made it up."
It gets WAY better, though. Check this out.
On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first "valentine" card himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine."
This little gem posted above was further "lore" on the St. Valentine story submitted by American Greetings. This didn't mean a lot to me, so Wikipedia, take 'er away!
American Greetings is....
is the world's largest publicly-traded greeting card company.
Great, so we can put that to rest. I think we close the book on reason #1.

Reason #2. It's like Christmas, but worse. Whoa! Wait, what??
What is the purpose of Valentine's Day? If you were asked this question the simplest way possible, what would you say? I would have to say something like, "it's a day when you show love to those that love you."
OK, now, how would explain the purpose of Christmas in a simple sentence. If your a Christian, you'll say, "to celebrate the birth of Christ." Most non-Christians will say, "when I get together with those I love and exchange gifts." Now that I think about it, I would have to say Christmas for non-Christians is essentially Valentine's Day part 2, but you purchase more gifts typically. I don't think that would be horribly off base to say. This probably sounds like I'm slamming non-Christians, but if you don't believe Christ was born and died for your sins, why are you celebrating the holiday? To love those that love you. I feel can I move on again now that we're all back on the same team.
Are you starting to catch where I'm going with this? Why in the world do we need a holiday to remind us to show love to the people we love? A holiday to get together with those we love and give them a gift as a token of love? A holiday to remind us to love God and thank him for the birth of the Savior of humanity?
I guess I can understand the debate that's brewing. Is one day better than no days? Absolutely. But how sad is it for many people, it really is just one day. If we truly understand what love is and have people we do love in our lives, what is one day of giving a gift really showing that? Not that it has to be a gift, but how much more meaningful is it to get something out of the blue. How awesome of a feeling would it be to receive a few roses at work on July 16th rather than on the day you're "supposed to?"
Sorry, kind of got carried away from my closing point. Reason #2. There ya go.

I thought I would share this since it's rather fitting (and incredibly timely). In our men's group we are reading a book called, 'Becoming a Contagious Christian.' The chapter I'm reading for this week is entitled "The Pull of Compassion."
Here's what I read tonight that, to me, reaffirms my reason #2.
When action-oriented compassion is absent, it's a telltale sign that something's spiritually amiss. Whether the problem is with the organization or the individual, uncaring Christianity does not attract inquirers to into it's fold. But a clear and consistent demonstration of Christlike love is a powerful magnet pulls people towards Him.
Obviously, this is a little out of context from what I'm talking about as this is about bringing nonbelievers to Christ, but I hope you can see the similarities. "A clear and consistent demonstration of love is a powerful magnent." I want that magnent! Don't you?
I just wanted to encourage everyone to make the meaning of holidays last more than just a day. That's super cheesy I know, but there really isn't any other way to say it. If you love somebody, tell them. Show them. You don't need to spend $25 for a dozen roses because it's what your supposed to do on this particular day. Do it "out of season"...just because you can and, more importantly, because you want to. I can almost guarantee it'll be more meaningful.
Happy Valentine's Day.

the dangers of emotional pornography.

I'm having some trouble posting links on blogger for some reason (the reason is probably on account of being a dummy), so I just posted this article from Relevant Magazine. Interesting read. Not sure I agree with it actually, even though it seems to echo a lot of stuff I said my blog entry, "The Expedition For Cloud Nine." Need. Time. To. Think. Give it read. Let me know what you think.


We (rightly) worry and fight against visual pornography. But what about the dangers of pornography of the mind and heart?

Editor's note: This week, we're taking a look at some of the "Best of RELEVANTMagazine.com" from 2010. When we put this article up in May, it quickly became one of our most popular and talked-about articles. Cole's examination of our culture's seeming obsession with love stories and idealized romance certainly stirred up a lot of opinions. Some of you resonated with Cole's idea, and said he was spot-on in his critiques. Others suggested that Cole was blaming the media for our own sin and brokenness. Others suggested that there's nothing wrong with a little romcom. So revisit this article, and chime in to the conversation below.

I watched the pilot episode of Glee when it premiered a few months before the show was to begin airing regularly. It was decent enough to at least give some time to the next few episodes. But by the end of episode two, I was getting a little uneasy. As I watched it, I was becoming aware of what the writers wanted me to feel—the good guy teacher to cheat on his evil wife with the gentle co-worker, and the main male character to cheat on his hypocritical Christian girlfriend with his female lead counterpart.It was one thing to want the characters in the show to do this thing or that, but I turned it off in the middle of a scene in which that male student finally decided to cheat on his girlfriend. It wasn’t because I was offended at the content before my eyes. Rather, in that moment, there was a transference of energy. I found myself thinking about whose girlfriend I should have stolen in high school and how easy and awesome it would have been.

Flash back to Nashville, May of 2009. I’m driving in a rental car, scanning radio stations. I stop on the local Christian station, and the female DJ is talking about the coming The Notebook: The Musical. She goes on to fawn over the romance in the story and how well it will be adapted to the stage. “But what about A Walk To Remember?” she says. “That would make a fantastic musical. I just loved how that made me feel. And, of course, Switchfoot would have to have some songs in it.”

There’s certainly a war against the prevalence of visual pornography in many corners of our society—especially in the Christian culture. There is an attempt to expose pornography for its promotion of unrealistic sexual expectations and exploitation of human sexuality. And that attempt is a very necessary one.

But what about the unhealthy emotional and relational expectations portrayed in so much of our media? Is there really much of a difference in the hyperbolized sexual imagery of typical pornography and the hyperbolized momentary emotional high felt in a romance film or romantic comedy that sends us looking for a “love” that doesn’t exist?

I heard an interview on NPR with a female author named Elizabeth Gilbert. She was talking about the proliferation of the “Soul Mate Complex” in our modern culture and how the film Jerry Maguire served to reinforce it with the now illustrious line, "You complete me.”

It’s not necessarily only the resulting effects of such a movie that parallels the traditional definition of pornography. Just as there is sexual excitement surrounding the mystery and allure of what flesh might be seen in a movie known for its racy reputation, so too are we drawn in with an anticipation for the emotional and physical high of a romance film.

As a result, we’re taught to crave the moment of romantic ecstasy or to live for the wedding day. We’re raised to think these are the real stories of love and relationship, and we’re confused when they are so few and far between that we aren’t sustained. So we turn back to that which led us to believe in this fantasy all along. And we’re left with an old woman sitting alone, in her love seat, in front of the television watching her “stories.”

Kids eventually understand that pumpkins don’t turn to glass carriages and Fairy Godmothers don’t grant wishes, but many girls never grow out of the idea that one day they will be rescued from reality by some magic and a fictitious prince. And little boys never live up to the fantasy of the mind or that they’re supposed to be that prince and that their spouse is an all-fulfilling princess.

Next time you’re thinking about seeing a movie, be aware of what’s pulling you toward it. If you decide to watch it, recognize the moment when you feel the emotional reinforcement of fake love. And when you walk out, recognize what you now hope for and expect.

There is such a thing as love. There are beautiful moments. But love is about life. And life is about the long haul.

Cole NeSmith is a pastor at Status in Orlando and creator of Uncover The Color.