(from myspace. originally posted 4/6/08)
i understand the blog title might make all of you a little curious, but this is something that has been on my mind for a long time now. i’ve always reserved myspace to keep in touch with people that have moved away or to display excellent color coordination (note the scheme matches the profile picture...i’m sure you’ve already observed this and were blown away). it’s time to stray from past blogs, messages, jokes, and color schemes to touch on something that REALLY bugs me.
so many people have been speculating for years now on who is responsible for all this school violence. what has happened with our nation where a school shooting seems to occur every few months? media, movies, games? all of the former have received plenty of finger pointing as a cause of these horrible acts that have been surfacing over the past 10 years or so. how about good ol’ ma and pa? what about these people? after these tragedies, we get 8 page layouts in time magazine about the killer’s troubled history. we get shocking headlines on cnn and fox news that grab the world’s attention with words like massacre and killing spree. where are the parents through all of this? listen, i’m not saying let’s beat down their door and throw mics and cameras in their face. i could not fathom being a parent and have to go through something like this, but i would be interested in some profiles of this troubled kids parents.
is there a possibility that we are missing something? do me a favor. one of the following two will suffice. number one. actually, cancel number one...i just did it for you. over the past 15 years, fast food sales and increased almost 7% while restaraunt dining has decreased 6%. the gap between family income spent at a restaraunt and a fast food establishment is narrowing and the tables will turn possibly in the next five years or so. ok..(stick with me here)..number two...well, i guess this would be number one...just check out the type of food that is available at your local grocery store. specifically, your breakfast, lunch type kids food. for example, for lunch we have the classic peanut butter and jelly. but, if you go to the store, you’ll find you no longer need to buy the pb and j separate. you can just get goober grape! way easier. or, check out the pop tarts. have too little time to get the kids breakfast in the morning? well, pop tarts just aren’t quick enough anymore. our kids need go tarts! who really has the time to throw a cumbersome pop tart in the toaster for 30 seconds?
so, what’s you freaking point, kevin? well, our country has become obsessed with "now." we live for "now," and we aren’t getting it soon enough. we spend so much energy on our work, play, and ourselves we have been neglecting interaction with other humans. i feel this includes a large base of parents. i understand i’m not a parent, and "i have no idea what i’m talking about," but i think it’s obvious we are headed down a very dangerous path. so many parents just plop there kids down in front of their wii and dump a bag of bk in the their lap and go "unwind." i know i’m not speaking from experiencing and i know i’ll probably want to do it too, but we need to invest time in our children. there is ADD all over the place, obesity has become an epidemic, and our children are suffering from loneliness and depression.
sorry to rant, but i really feel this has to in some way contribute to this violence. obviously, the media isn’t helping matters. after the virginia tech killings, i saw time magazine had nearly a 10 page layout on the killer, and one page devoted to all the victims. we hoist to people to ridiculous heights of fame and it has to stop. but, let’s please start with the family. remember what that is? most of the families i know are extremely close, and it’s amazing to see. let’s embrace it.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
dear terrorist, this tips for you.
(from myspace. originally posted 4/5/08)
don’t worry, americans. we are well taken care of. our department of homeland security has been hard work since 9/11 keeping our country safe. even though it has come at a very high price to our country financially, there’s nothing quite like waking up knowing we are taken care of. i guess no one told that to the washington post.
they recently printed an article entitled "terrorism drops a bombshell on boise." The entire article focused on the top cities in america that are the most vulnerable to a terrorist attack. really? yes, sir, and boise, idaho made the top ten. ghis shouldn’t come as a surprise. we all know potatoes are to middle eastern’s as what kryptonite is to superman. I guess you could just skim the surface of the article and observe the cities on the list in a joking matter and think, "huh, that’s funny that boise made the list"...or, you can stand back and see the big picture and say, "are you freaking kidding me? why would you publish this information?!"
it gets worse. i mentioned the article was produced by the washington post, but msn.com decided it was front page news. so, you don’t have to just get the post to read the article, but just have internet access. oh, but wait, i wouldn’t have written this blog if it wasn’t for the following bomb (pardon the pun), the whole study of the "most vunerable places in america" was funded by homeland security.
i think i’ll be taking my "stimulus" check next month and buy a one-way ticket to cananda.
don’t worry, americans. we are well taken care of. our department of homeland security has been hard work since 9/11 keeping our country safe. even though it has come at a very high price to our country financially, there’s nothing quite like waking up knowing we are taken care of. i guess no one told that to the washington post.
they recently printed an article entitled "terrorism drops a bombshell on boise." The entire article focused on the top cities in america that are the most vulnerable to a terrorist attack. really? yes, sir, and boise, idaho made the top ten. ghis shouldn’t come as a surprise. we all know potatoes are to middle eastern’s as what kryptonite is to superman. I guess you could just skim the surface of the article and observe the cities on the list in a joking matter and think, "huh, that’s funny that boise made the list"...or, you can stand back and see the big picture and say, "are you freaking kidding me? why would you publish this information?!"
it gets worse. i mentioned the article was produced by the washington post, but msn.com decided it was front page news. so, you don’t have to just get the post to read the article, but just have internet access. oh, but wait, i wouldn’t have written this blog if it wasn’t for the following bomb (pardon the pun), the whole study of the "most vunerable places in america" was funded by homeland security.
i think i’ll be taking my "stimulus" check next month and buy a one-way ticket to cananda.
don't forget the cheese.
(carried over from myspace. originally posted 1/3/08)
i'll admit, i really appreciate someone with a sharp wit. unless of course that wit is unprofessional slash at my expense. twas the case last weekend when i took a journey with my fellow comrades (josh j, jason, marty)to culver's. i allowed them to order first while i spent an unnecessary amount of time looking at the menu.
hold that thought for a comedic observation.
why is it that whenever you order at a fast food joint (no, i will not call it a restaurant) that you (the customer) never take your eyes off the neon lit menu when you order even though you already darn well know what you are getting? you scan that whole 12 foot screen while your brain is already enjoying the chicken, bacon, swiss and curly fries you WILL be eating in less than three minutes (unless of course you have to wait the extra two minutes for a fresh batch of fries...you lucky dog, but careful, they're hot), and the while your wasting time scanning the menu, the clown behind the counter is thinking of all the different ways he could snap your neck because the joint (not a restaurant) closes at 11:00 and he started cleaning the fryers at 9:45.
ok, back to the story.the other three order their culvy's (cute, huh), and i approach the counter. scanning the menu for about 6 seconds (i decided on a cheddar burger in the car), i order the aforementioned dish. the gentleman at the counter asks, "what would you like on the burger?"wait, i had not prepared for this. i had forgotten culver's let's me choose. this was not going to end pleasantly as my mind raced thinking of all the glorius toppings that could enhance my culvy going experience.
"well, what toppings do you have?" i asked playfully.
by the way, i have lived in america my entire life, so i'm not sure why i failed to understand what you can get on a burger. perhaps to force the employee to get sidetracked and try to come up all the possibilities while i didn't pay attention to him and figure out what i really wanted. this is exactly what happened. he rattled off the options (very speedily i might add), and i was left with, "uh....well...how about lettuce and ketchup." yeah, nice call, kevin. just leave it at that so you don't have to ask him to repeat the options.
as he was ringing me up, i realized i had forgotten the most important topping. this is freaking america. i need cheese! without thinking, my mouth vomitted out the utterly absurd question, "does that come with cheese?"insert sarcasm here. he stared at me for about 3 seconds and smilied, "yes, the CHEDDAR burger comes with cheese."
"oh, right. cause it's a cheddar burger. i'm an idiot," i replied, desheveled.
"don't worry, man. i've heard way worse," his response was soothing."probably not, but i appreciate it," and i did.
yes, i had my pride scraped off the floor by an employee at a fast food...restaraunt. he probably has heard worse, but i bet i made his day. i'm sure that he had a good chuckle about it a couple hours later...until that car full of teenagers showed up at 9:45....right after cleaning the fryers.
i'll admit, i really appreciate someone with a sharp wit. unless of course that wit is unprofessional slash at my expense. twas the case last weekend when i took a journey with my fellow comrades (josh j, jason, marty)to culver's. i allowed them to order first while i spent an unnecessary amount of time looking at the menu.
hold that thought for a comedic observation.
why is it that whenever you order at a fast food joint (no, i will not call it a restaurant) that you (the customer) never take your eyes off the neon lit menu when you order even though you already darn well know what you are getting? you scan that whole 12 foot screen while your brain is already enjoying the chicken, bacon, swiss and curly fries you WILL be eating in less than three minutes (unless of course you have to wait the extra two minutes for a fresh batch of fries...you lucky dog, but careful, they're hot), and the while your wasting time scanning the menu, the clown behind the counter is thinking of all the different ways he could snap your neck because the joint (not a restaurant) closes at 11:00 and he started cleaning the fryers at 9:45.
ok, back to the story.the other three order their culvy's (cute, huh), and i approach the counter. scanning the menu for about 6 seconds (i decided on a cheddar burger in the car), i order the aforementioned dish. the gentleman at the counter asks, "what would you like on the burger?"wait, i had not prepared for this. i had forgotten culver's let's me choose. this was not going to end pleasantly as my mind raced thinking of all the glorius toppings that could enhance my culvy going experience.
"well, what toppings do you have?" i asked playfully.
by the way, i have lived in america my entire life, so i'm not sure why i failed to understand what you can get on a burger. perhaps to force the employee to get sidetracked and try to come up all the possibilities while i didn't pay attention to him and figure out what i really wanted. this is exactly what happened. he rattled off the options (very speedily i might add), and i was left with, "uh....well...how about lettuce and ketchup." yeah, nice call, kevin. just leave it at that so you don't have to ask him to repeat the options.
as he was ringing me up, i realized i had forgotten the most important topping. this is freaking america. i need cheese! without thinking, my mouth vomitted out the utterly absurd question, "does that come with cheese?"insert sarcasm here. he stared at me for about 3 seconds and smilied, "yes, the CHEDDAR burger comes with cheese."
"oh, right. cause it's a cheddar burger. i'm an idiot," i replied, desheveled.
"don't worry, man. i've heard way worse," his response was soothing."probably not, but i appreciate it," and i did.
yes, i had my pride scraped off the floor by an employee at a fast food...restaraunt. he probably has heard worse, but i bet i made his day. i'm sure that he had a good chuckle about it a couple hours later...until that car full of teenagers showed up at 9:45....right after cleaning the fryers.
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