don't forget the cheese.

(carried over from myspace. originally posted 1/3/08)

i'll admit, i really appreciate someone with a sharp wit. unless of course that wit is unprofessional slash at my expense. twas the case last weekend when i took a journey with my fellow comrades (josh j, jason, marty)to culver's. i allowed them to order first while i spent an unnecessary amount of time looking at the menu.
hold that thought for a comedic observation.
why is it that whenever you order at a fast food joint (no, i will not call it a restaurant) that you (the customer) never take your eyes off the neon lit menu when you order even though you already darn well know what you are getting? you scan that whole 12 foot screen while your brain is already enjoying the chicken, bacon, swiss and curly fries you WILL be eating in less than three minutes (unless of course you have to wait the extra two minutes for a fresh batch of fries...you lucky dog, but careful, they're hot), and the while your wasting time scanning the menu, the clown behind the counter is thinking of all the different ways he could snap your neck because the joint (not a restaurant) closes at 11:00 and he started cleaning the fryers at 9:45.
ok, back to the story.the other three order their culvy's (cute, huh), and i approach the counter. scanning the menu for about 6 seconds (i decided on a cheddar burger in the car), i order the aforementioned dish. the gentleman at the counter asks, "what would you like on the burger?"wait, i had not prepared for this. i had forgotten culver's let's me choose. this was not going to end pleasantly as my mind raced thinking of all the glorius toppings that could enhance my culvy going experience.
"well, what toppings do you have?" i asked playfully.
by the way, i have lived in america my entire life, so i'm not sure why i failed to understand what you can get on a burger. perhaps to force the employee to get sidetracked and try to come up all the possibilities while i didn't pay attention to him and figure out what i really wanted. this is exactly what happened. he rattled off the options (very speedily i might add), and i was left with, "uh....well...how about lettuce and ketchup." yeah, nice call, kevin. just leave it at that so you don't have to ask him to repeat the options.
as he was ringing me up, i realized i had forgotten the most important topping. this is freaking america. i need cheese! without thinking, my mouth vomitted out the utterly absurd question, "does that come with cheese?"insert sarcasm here. he stared at me for about 3 seconds and smilied, "yes, the CHEDDAR burger comes with cheese."
"oh, right. cause it's a cheddar burger. i'm an idiot," i replied, desheveled.
"don't worry, man. i've heard way worse," his response was soothing."probably not, but i appreciate it," and i did.
yes, i had my pride scraped off the floor by an employee at a fast food...restaraunt. he probably has heard worse, but i bet i made his day. i'm sure that he had a good chuckle about it a couple hours later...until that car full of teenagers showed up at 9:45....right after cleaning the fryers.