jeff goldblum knows best.

"scientists spent so much time thinking whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." - Dr. Ian Malcom, Jurassic Park

I DO agree with you. It is kinda unfortunate that one of my favorite quotes all of time (period, not just movies) comes from Jurassic Park, but it comes from The Fly himself, which I think yings the yang. Yep, I just verbed a symbol.

If you've been keeping up with past entries, you're already well aware of my disdain for all things technology. Another log for the fire? Sure, it was starting to look pretty bleak for me after getting a new tv, hooking up the surround sound system, and FINALLY crossing over to the digital age.

Digital. Take a seat. Stone. Welcome back. We've all missed you.

Here is said log on said fire.

About two months ago I noticed a light flash on in the console of my vehicle. It looked like a small boat out on the water with a dot in the middle. I was puzzled because, for those that don't know me, I don't drive a boat. You can plainly see my confusion.

I scanned through my manual and realized it was a flat tire indicator. I thought, "I have one of those!" (meaning the light and the flat tire). I checked all the tires and found the culprit. The left rear. I should have known!

I filled the tire and went on my way. A month later, the light comes on again. This time I think, "Strange coincidence that another tire would be going flat." Checked again. Curious. Left rear. Refill.

Two weeks later. It's raining when I got home from work. I get out of the not-a-boat and hear a strange hissing sound about two feet to my left. I look down expecting a king cobra. None to be found. I discover the sound is radiating from my tire (left rear).

I think, "I think I've got a flat," two months too late. Tire comes off. Examination.

HUGEST. NAIL. EVER.

I take the tire in and say, "I can't sail without this!!" Get it? From earlier...the boat....(sigh) That was said as an inside (my head) voice.

The tire is examined carefully and he says, "Sure! We can plug it." He gets the nail out, gets ready to plug and stops. "Oh, s---," he says. Not real professional, but I'm sure my tires been called worse. "This has a sensor."

"Yep," I replied. "Is that bad?"

He sighs heavily and explains the situation. Because the tire HAS a sensor, patching it may be a problem. Yeah, I was confused too. He said that even though the hole has been patched, there is a possibility the flat tire light may stay on. I didn't get it at all but kept nodding like a moron.

I said I didn't really care if the boat light was on as long as I knew the tire was fine.

He said the car is too advanced for me to pull a fast one like that. If the light stays on for so many miles, the engine won't start. If I'm driving the thing and it hits that magic mileage number, it will shut off.

The fix? Go back to the dealership so they can wire it up to their computer and reset the sensors. Free? Not a chance.

I have to pay to fix a feature I really don't care to have but the ship won't sail without it.

I miss the good ol' days where technology was figuring out which stick I was going to use to start a fire. Then the only thing I needed to concern myself with was tracking down the clown that decided a ship on the high seas was a good icon for a flat tire on a car.

something for nothing.

woke up this morning...late...again. it's been a long week. last night was my own dumb fault. todd came over and hooked up my surround sound system (thanks, todd) and then we watched the final 3 episodes of band of brothers. we started on the special features, but after about 10 minutes i realized if i let this go on any longer, i'd get sucked in and have to finish the whole thing and end up finding out about what steven spielberg had for lunch on day 16 of shooting episode 7. i thought i could go without that.

i woke up at 5:00 yesterday to work in ft. dodge. i told myself i couldn't stay up late that night or else i would pay for it today. well, ended up switching off B.O.B. at about 11:15. fell asleep around 12:15. up at 6:00 this morning. not exactly ideal for me. i need LOTS of sleep.

oh, don't get me wrong. i'll still be super cranky when i wake up, just more coherent.

i got ready in the dark like usual. i fear light in the morning. once i got my shoes and tie on i checked msn, as is the standard operating procedure. as i flipped open my laptop, i let a little "mmmmm" as i grimaced from the bright green light of my desktop. remember, this is my first experience with light in the morning.

when msn opens up, i see the headline, "obama wins nobel peace prize." i think, "uhhhh...what? am i still sleeping and dreaming about future time where obama has actually done.....anything?"

alas, i was not dreaming. i was parked in the neutral, lodged in the same ridiculous reality in which i'm always existing.

in case you were wondering, other awards that will be giving out in the next week:

lebron james wins the 2010 nba mvp award.

danny glover wins best supporting actor at the oscars for lethal weapon 5.

i get a huge raise and a trophy following 10 years of devoted service to the wolfe clinic.

how in the world does barack obama win a nobel peace prize???

well, let me lay out what it takes to win a nobel peace prize. here it is from mr. alfred nobel himself. he says the prize should go to, "the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."

mr. president, what have you done? if you need a comedic view of your accomplishments, look no further than saturday night live. this aired last weekend.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/99945/saturday-night-live-obama-address

i'm not saying barack obama won't go down as a great president, he may very well go down as the best president. but at this point, he isn't. he hasn't done much of anything in office. to his defense, he's tried. he's tried to alter just about everything i've come to know from our government as long as i've been alive. does our country really need a total overall? yes, our economy has fallen apart, but it was bound to bounce back regardless of who was in office. it's cyclical...kind of like global warming (i'll save this thought for another time).

one other curious thing i discovered which makes this even more unbelievable...check that..not EVEN MORE...but completely unbelievable, guess when the guys that vote for prize have to have their votes turned in by.

februrary 1st.

why is that significant?

barack obama took office on january 20th.

is this laughable yet? maybe this will push you over the edge.

there has been several years where the committee has actually released a few of their finalists. something tells me from this list that we shouldn't put much, if any, stock in who actually wins:

adolf hitler, joseph stalin, benito mussolini.

whoops.

i'm starting to feel a little left out. you know, maybe i should start looking at this as a "glass half full" scenario. maybe I could win he nobel peace prize! you really don't need to actually accomplish anything. you just have to SAY you're going to accomplish something significant...and maybe act half serious while you do (the prize patrol and can see right through your lies). it's really no more difficult than that.

or maybe you could actually make an effort to make this world better. forget awards. forget all the press. forget the attention. be a servant. do what your called to do.

philippians 2: 3-4. do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the the interests of others.

serve. serve. serve.

i'll close with some good ol' ghandi.

"the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the sevice of others."

by the way, ghandi never won the nobel peace prize.