it's like raaaaa-eee-aaaiiin on your...

i was considering writing about my biggest pet peeves. this idea flooded my head while i passed the john walking down the hall at work today. no, i don't have a super arrogant friend named john that has requested we address him as 'the john' to enhance an otherwise fairly common name (sorry to all john's, i mean no disrespect) or maybe just to get a date.....hmmmm...the kevin? my pet peeve idea originated from seeing the toilet paper roll hanging so that you have to pull it from underneath the roll. why would you do that?? seriously. it's so hard to tear along the perforated (i spell checked that) edges when the teary (did not spell check that) part is behind the roll and not visible. there are only two possible outcomes. you rip the paper to shreds trying to actually tear it along the perforated (i remembered from last time) edge or you have to essentially waste a square to get a clear view of the perfed (if i have to use a word 3+ times i'll just abbrev it) edge and the next clown that uses the toilet has to just take that spare piece off and throw it away because who knew where that exposed square has been. oh sure, you can be gross and just roll it back up for the next unsuspecting john visitor.
when i got home, i checked msn and realized i had stumbled across the news story of the year. last year it was the two guys dressed as jedi's fighting in their yard when a man dressed like drunk darth vader (he had consumed an entire box of wine) attacked them. the attacker did NOT know the victims. so, this years story reminded me of another pet peeve that deserved my immediate attention rather than the ta(il)le of the toilet role. plus, i also love a sweet, sweet case of irony. a man who was recently added to the guinness book of world records for filing the most lawsuits ever has...you guessed it....sued guinness for defamation of character. brilliant. don't you worry about guinness, i'm sure they're pleased to be in such good company. previous lawsuits have included (i wish i could have made this up): the makers of grand theft auto, plato, jimmy hoffa, che guevara...it gets better...the lincoln memorial, the eiffel tower, the 13 tribes of israel, the garden of eden, and my personal favorite, i can't believe it's not butter. Even better?? [from wikipedia] (He) has also attempted to intervene as a plaintiff in the Bernie madoff investment scandal, claiming that he "met bernie madoff on eharmony.com in 2001" and taught madoff identity theft skills. This guy is amazing!!!
well, that's all for today. this story just made my day. well, one more thought to leave you with. irony. what IS irony, alanis? 10,000 spoons when you're looking for knife is in fact irony. rain on wedding day, however....is just crappy.