I believe a constant struggle of many men and women my age is depression. It may not be that classical form of depression, not wanting to leave the house/emotionally strained, but fits the bill none the less. It is an obsession to create happiness on our own using external influences...whether it comes from movies, sports, friendships, relationships, etc. There is nothing wrong with having these things that make you happy, but these are all temporary fixes to a chronic problem. Even in a relationship, these feelings are bound to intermittently hide or disappear altogether.
I believe this is something I've struggled with for some time now. I am searching for something outside of myself to make me happy, because if I don't feel happy, the solution is out there somewhere, right? Negative.
I accepted Christ when I was in seventh grade. That acceptance allowed the Holy Spirit to my heart, to live IN me. This happiness I'm searching externally for is planted within my very soul begging to be allowed to provide me with all the satisfaction, gratitude, happiness I can never attain from anything this world could ever offer.
So, why my age group? Why is culture crashing down this reckless path of depression/this impossible search for satisfaction?
In rereading 'The Lost Virtue of Happiness,' I found a terrific example of one area, specifically men, struggle with constantly. Women. In 2001 there was an article published in Psychology Today that with our culture's constant exposure to beautiful people it has made us less interested in dating or in our spouses. We've seen all the "beauty" there is out there making us less content with the true beauty around us. Obviously, this article was specifically about looks, but I think it goes far beyond that every category. We watch movies about the guy or girl that always says the right thing, the hero, the comedian, the romantic. We set that as our standard, which no one in real life can live up to. We search and search which leads to our frustration that we can't find what satisfies us. Once again, it's within us.
The follow up comment in 'The Lost Virtue' regarding the article in Psychology Today is heavily underlined now in my book:
"Why is it we think this way? We are empty selves, drunk with seeking happiness and, as a result, individualistic, narcissistic, infantile people who approach others as objects that exist merely to make us happy. Slowly but surely, the contemporary notion of happiness is killing our relationships, our religious fervor, our very lives."
And, folks, there is your verbal equivalent to a punch in the face. It was for me at least. What a wake up call to be referred to as a self-centered, arrogant child.
For those of you that go to Cornerstone, you may remember Paul preaching about feelings, referring to them as liars. This book takes a similar approach:
"The current understanding of happiness identifies it as a pleasurable feeling. Pleasant feelings are surely better than unpleasant ones, but the problem today is that people are obsessively concerned with feeling happiness; people are slaves to their feelings. Feelings are wonderful servants but terrible masters."
We need to stop this worldwide search for what will make us happy in this moment and search within ourselves for Spirit of living God that will satisfy forever.
"Advancing the kingdom of God, living in intimacy with God and others, and honoring God by reflecting His good nature are the goals of life."
"It is to become like Jesus himself and have a character that manifests the radical nature of the kingdom of God and the fruit of the Spirit. It is to find out God's purposes for your life and to fulfill those purposes in a Christ-honoring way."
Yeah, it's a pretty good book.
This is really a journal entry to myself on the fixes I need to make in my own heart, but I know numerous friends that are fighting through these feelings of grief and depression. Those on a search for something/someone to make them happy, to satisfy, to fill them.
There is happiness to be had. His name is Jesus.
I've heard of this book a few times; I want to read it!
ReplyDeleteWomen struggle with men too - I don't know how many friends of mine long for that person who will 'complete' them and fulfill all those desires and needs. Chick flicks only aggravate the situation - I've been saying that about movies for years now, equating it to the female version of porn, where the guys always says and does the perfect thing (a standard men cannot live up to).
I really hope more people understand this (the concepts in this book). Too many people feel empty and try unsuccessfully to fill the void with worldly things. I wish they'd know that the only thing that can fill the God-shaped hole is Him.