the shamwow of 2011.

As I begin to dabble more in cooking I've been spending much more time at the grocery store. Not more trips necessarily, but I'm just there WAY longer. I have no idea where anything is.
For the last couple years, I would generally buy the same things every time I went. I'm know realizing the reason I would always eat the same thing. It had nothing to do with how much I liked what I was purchasing, it was simply because I knew where it was.
For some reason, I just really dislike grocery shopping. Maybe it's the stereotypical man thing of just not wanting to shop, period. Just like the stereotype, when I buy pants I never try them on first. When I get home, if they don't fit, whatever. The less time I have to spend in that store, the better. Same goes for groceries. I just REALLY don't want to spend 20 minutes walking around looking for kumquats (yep, spell checked).
I'm actually assuming most families are similar to this. Sure, you might have a "special" meal every know and then, but I think generally growing up, we'd usually have the same stuff around the house most of the time.
So, what happens when you start experimenting with cooking new things? What happens when you decide to make a special dish for the family? I think it can take an unnecessary amount of time looking for food. We live in a world of now. Freaking toothbrushes are digital, yet are grocery stores still have those massive signs hanging above each aisle that tells you about 0.4% of what items actually reside in that aisle. Why are they so far behind?
My solution.......
a Dewey Decimal System for FOOD!
Here's the sell. You're just coming off a hard days work and on your way your spouse calls your cell and says the kids want something special tonight. You want to say, "Tell the kids to plant a garden!! I'm making a detour! Pick me up at the bar around 11," but instead, because you made some crazy vow to honor your spouse, you say, "Sure, honey. I'll make something super special for you and all of our lovely children!"
You obviously want to make this trip as quick as possible because you really want to get home and you mouths to feed when you get there. Spending 25 extra minutes trying to find a handful of carbs in this food haystack is not efficient.
Luckily, THIS store has "FoodFinder" (yeah, whatever, you think up a better name), an interactive touch screen (it will work better than Red Box. Seriously, how hard can a human possibly have to push to....forget it) that allows to search for several specific ingredients OR brand new recipes online.
If you just want a couple items, you can print off (or get the iPhone app coming in Spring) all the junk your looking for and it will give you specifics to wear those items are located.
If you are in mood for making something special you've never made before, for example our anonymous family man/woman mentioned above, you search the database for specific recipes. Then, once you find a winner you print off that list giving you the exact locations of each item you need to purchase.
TA-DA! Those mouths get fed sooner and you get home that much sooner to enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home while your kids run around spitting on each other or whatever it is kids do.
Maybe this is a horrible idea, but I'm kinda surprised I've never seen anything like this at least attempted. Doesn't it kind of seem, though, the grocery stores haven't really changed in the past 20+ years....at all? Unless you count Cub Foods and their thumbprint payment thing. What a massive train wreck.
Anyway, please someone steal this from me and make it happen. I don't have time to actually develop this further. I have to return a pair of jeans.