let's see....1982...plus the.....carry the.....oh, crap.
honestly, i really almost forgot about my birthday until i was reminded of it yesterday by a fellow cornerstoner who happens to share that special date of march 29th.
this seriously isn't some ploy to remind everyone my birthday is in fact tomorrow. i just never thought i would get to a point where i; a) nearly forgot, b) could really care less.
it's not like i'm anti-birthday. it just really is another day in life of a pretty average dude trying to figure out his place in this life. every year that goes by, i still feel immortal and i still don't feel like i've accomplished anything.
maybe i nearly forgot because of everything else that's been dominating my thoughts lately. my grandmother passed away this week (which explains the immortality reference above). i don't often think about death unless it's thrown right in my face, which is sad. don't get me wrong, i don't WANT to ponder my impending demise, but i think it should be a necessary part of thoughts during our limited existence on this earth.
how can we understand eternity if we can't understand mortality?
my grandmother lived 86 years of a faith-filled existence on this earth. a truly amazing woman. i really get frustrated of all the completely false compliments paid at funerals to those who have passed on. i understand it eases the thoughts of the families to hear these things, but if it's a lie, what is gained except a temporary sense of false comfort? my grandmother, however, was one of the most joyous people i've ever met. she was in a great deal of pain towards the end of her life and it was a blessing when she finally passed away. she is home with her Maker. she toiled for 86 years on this earth to make His name known and now she gets to spend eternity with Him. how amazing is that!? i couldn't be sad for a story like that, but there was one moment at the funeral where i couldn't hold back a few tears.
it was a story shared by her niece...
she said when she was 8, her aunt shirley (my grandmother) made cookies with her. she was told by my grandmother that she could do everything herself. measure out the ingredients. stir them all together. she was in charge. the one thing her niece did not know was...how to make cookies. she went along with it anyway, measuring out what seemed like the correct amount, stirring random ingredients together. finally, when they were finished, her niece confessed that she had never made cookies before and didn't know what she was doing. my grandmother's response? "well, i just thought you looked like someone that could anything." you can't read that story and not smile, can you?
if i live as long as her, i can say tomorrow i will have lived 1/3 of my life. with all that she has accomplished, where do i stand? am i on track? is it really even possible to measure?
i think every year on their special day, numerous people stop and realize how little they've done and how much is left to do. one day a year.
one day a year, on the day of our birth, we realize how little time we have left. morbid? absolutely not. we are but a vapor on this earth. i think that realization needs to set in daily, rather than annually. we have so much to give. and so much to learn.
with easter approaching, my prayer is that as we celebrate Christ's death and resurrection, we celebrate our own death. the death of our former self that is now filled the Holy Spirit. and we celebrate our mortality. our temporary visitation to a planet filled with people who need to be loved and know the Truth. and we celebrate the everlasting life granted to us when we leave this place, given by a perfect man who sacrificed himself on a cross.
yes, i've got a lot on my mind. another birthday nearly in the books and what to show for it?
.325 down. time to get work.
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