king kong ain't got nothin' on me!

I can't tell you how much crap I get for living in Somerset. "Oh, you live in the fancy part of Ames?" Heard that on more than one occasion. Well, sure I may be considered 'soft' based on the following facts.
Yeah, I know I work in the health care field.
No, I don't change my own oil.
Yes, I had to watch a You Tube video on how to fix my constantly running toilet.
No, I don't get dirty often.
Yes, I have super soft hands. I like to refer to them as "kitten pads."
Well, NOT NO MORE SUCKA'S!!!
Somerset is a war zone. I'm on the front lines. I've been living across the street from freaking Scarface! Believe it fools!!!

From KCCI.com:
"Officials said they executed a search warrant at 2514 Bristol Dr. in Ames on Thursday.
Officers said they found numerous marijuana plants growing inside the house. They also said they found anabolic steroids and more than a pound of manicured marijuana.
Clark Way, 36, and Renee Wrabek, 36, were charged with 15 counts of the violating the drug tax stamp law, possession with intent to deliver marijuana, possession of controlled substance (anabolic steroids), possession of controlled substance (hydrocodone), unlawful possession of prescription drugs and possession of marijuana with intent to manufacture (15 counts)."

Yep. Believe that! Across the freaking street!
So, go right on ahead. Mock my lifestyle. I've got it harder than you could ever know. When I go for jog, I'm packing my 9 mil. When I go down to the pond to read, switchblade. The Cafe for an iced latte? A set of brass knuckles. Casual jaunt to Fairway? Louisville Slugger.
Who's the girl now, clowns??!! I may indeed have kitten pad, soft hands. Don't mean I still can't pistol whip a fool upside his face!!!
OUT!!

P.S. No, I didn't get to actually see any the bust go down. I was too busy pouting cause I burned my marshmallow making smores at a bonfire. What of it? You don't know me, fool.