Let's open things up with an apology. I'm going to get through this quickly as I don't like apologizing and I want to get to the meat and potatoes of this. Think of my apology as the bluecheese apple bacon chutney bouchee of this blog. I think that's an appetizer...or a potential life threatening virus....of the chutney. Gross. Guess what just made my list of top ten most disgusting words (blog to come later).
Sooo, I'm sorry. There. It's been awhile. I would like to say I've super busy lately and simply haven't had time to post anything but that's a total cop out. I WAS busy about two weeks ago with this little production, but the past two...yeah, really haven't done a thing.
After the production finished, I just needed some "me" time. For those that don't know me very well, I'm not a people person. I'm not sure I'd refer to myself as an introvert.....yeah, I would. My ideal night is cozying up under a blanket, cranking up my heater, hot chocolate, movie, popcorn (with peanut butter M&M's) and nice, simple quiet. As you can imagine, this isn't achievable when you spend 30+ hours a week for two weeks surrounded by 40 odd people singing and dancing...some of the teenagers. Yeah, tell me about it. I was NEVER like that.
I feel like I should have separate blog about the production since it consumed 2 months of my introverted young adult life. Maybe I will. Maybe no one cares anymore. Maybe I'll completely forget I thought about blogging about it when I finish this. Yeah, I'll just do that.
Well, folks, how is everything? Can I get the plates out of your way? For our main course, here is a wood-oven roasted devil's gulch ranch rabbit loin (AKA the aforementioned "meat and potatoes"). In case you were already thinking it, yes, loin will also make the sick word list.
It's time for some new clothes. Seriously. I don't think I've purchased a new shirt of any type in over a year. I recently went through all my clothes and I have maybe 30 t-shirts, five hoodies, 3 pairs of jeans, and 13 (ballpark) pairs of pajama pants. I don't own anything one might call trendy.
I thought with my newly walleted (can you verb that?) Christmas money, I might peruse the selection at Target to see what's in vogue. I'm fairly certain the fact that I just used the term "in vogue" proves I am in fact vogueless (not possessing vogue if you aren't hip what I'm currently laying down).
I use parenthesis way too much, don't I?
I spent a good hour (in male shopping time, probably 20 minutes in real life) looking through the men's clothes at Target and something struck me about 25 minutes (8.5 real minutes) in.
I'm old.
Let's start with the sweaters. Not only did they all appear to be without vogue, they looked like something a 15 girl would wear. A big collar on a sweater? Maybe if I was sporting the Justin Bieber hair and some elevated cheekbones I could pull this off. Unfortunately, I have a partially receding hair line and am about 15 pounds overweight, therefore, I feel this disqualifies me from puffy collared sweater.
The pants. OK, totally understand the slighty torn, faded look. Two out of my three current jeans have this, but I really don't want it look like I swiped a pair off some homeless guy under the bridge that just got attacked by a gaggle of radioactive sewer rats.
Gaggle. Got 3 out of my top 10 disgusting words clinched.
Clinched? Nah, maybe top 50.
Hats. Really not understanding the stocking cap with the bill. No witty explanation here, I just don't get those.
Graphic tees. Have these really ever been cool? "It's what's on the inside that counts" above a picture of a Twinkie. Why is that even.....forget it.
Well, you all cleared your plates. Couldn't have been too bad (canned laughter)! Any room for dessert?
PAUSE
I really don't like this question. I have no problems with someone asking me if I'm interested in dessert, there just has to be SOME OTHER phrase we could at least try out. I'm just sayin.
RESUME
For dessert, we have an elegant Lemoncello Cream Torte. For those that aren't keeping up the theme here, it means I'm almost done.
Basically, I need help. I need a woman's touch. I'm not sure I've ever bought any dressy-er-ish type clothes without a woman there to help me...or Chris Saldanha. He was with me when I bought my one and only suit. I just don't know what looks good on me. I kind of want to look at least...I don't know...not homeless? So, any female or Chris. Please help.
Thanks for coming.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
polarization commencing.
There are so many controversial topics that could be brought up now-a-days that will cause an almost instantaneous uproar. For some reason, there is one topic in particular that every single person seem to be passionate about and I honestly have no idea why. To me it doesn't seem like something that people should get really up in arms about, but as I casually bring it up to family, friends and co-workers there is some very strong opinions on both sides of the fence.
That topic is, most obviously, chiropractors. WHAT??
I really have no clue why this touches such a nerve with some people. If you don't "buy" it, don't go. If you DO go and it helps, spectacular.
So, why do I bring it up?
I realized I am strongly on one side of the fence about chiropractors. I have never had a lot of confidence or trust in the process of spinal manipulation. Nothing personal to the practice, it was always just "not my thing."
As I was trying to come up ideas for a new entry here, I started kind of polling people about there thoughts on the matter. I was amazed at how polarizing this topic was. Some people swear by them and others think they are frauds...both phrases I actually heard.
It was odd to me to hear just how against this practice some people were considering it "is the third largest health profession, behind medicine and dentistry." Thanks, Wikipedia.
Now, because I like to pretend to be professional journalist I decided to dig a little deeper. The more research I did, the more my previous opinion of this practice was magnified. This stuff is creepy.
First off, in several writings I found chiropractic care referred to as pseudoscience or "fake" science. This sounded a little harsh even for someone like me who was already on the "boo" side of this chiropractic fence. So, I did what any reasonable profession arguer would do and I looked up definitions.
Pseudoscience - a claim, belief, or practice posing as science, but which does not constitute or adhere to an appropriate scientific methodology, lacks supporting evidence or plausibility, or otherwise lacks scientific status.
Yep, sounds pretty harsh. And now....
Chiropractic - a health care discipline and profession that emphasizes diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mechanical disorders of the musculoskeletal system, especially the spine, under the hypothesis that these disorders affect general health via the nervous system.
A medical practice based purely on a hypothesis? Well, here's a story for ya.
In 1973, Stephen Barrett, M.D., sent a healthy four-year-old girl to five chiropractors for a "check up." The first said the child's shoulder blades were "out of place" and found "pinched nerves to her stomach and gall bladder." The second said the child's pelvis was "twisted." The third said one hip was "elevated" and that spinal misalignments could cause "headaches, nervousness, equilibrium or digestive problems" in the future. The fourth predicted "bad periods and rough childbirth" if her "shorter left leg" were not treated. The fifth not only found hip and neck problems, but also "adjusted" them without bothering to ask permission.
Yes, I know it's not right to just throw a story on here and say, "SEE?? I told you!" I also understand it is very possible there is such thing as a bad chiropractor and this story is a needle in a haystack of an otherwise solid medical practice. Well, I have multiple personal experiences that formed my original opinion.
We have had several patients come into the eye clinic over the years saying their chiropractor had told them he/she has fixed their various eye problems from glaucoma to cataracts. Cataracts. An age related problem that has/will happened in 100% of human beings fixed by an adjustment in the spinal cord. You can still be a dummy and understand that don't make no sense.
Now the story that tugged me to the side of the fence I reside on today. My own trip to the chiropractor. When I was 20, I began having significant lower back pain. Bad enough that when I would brush my teeth in the morning I would essentially have to get into push up position on the sink and lower myself down to drink water out of the faucet. My boss at the time recommended I take a trip to her chiropractor who she, shocker, swears by.
On my first visit, a scan revealed my spine was completely out of alignment and he was surprised I wasn't having more health problems because of how bad it was. He had me coming back three times a week for a month. It would have continued beyond that but my insurance said they were going to stop covering it because he couldn't explain why these visits needed to be so frequent. Once they approached with me with a payment plan so I could continue my treatment, I decided that was enough.
My pain had slightly declined over that month but I was still getting in my toothbrush workout every morning.
The pain, you ask? Yeah, I bought a new bed. Problem solved instantly.
I still understood I didn't really have any quotes/comments directly from a chiropractor to validate this practice as pseudoscience. Most things I read were almost entirely opinion based, so I didn't really feel comfortable about attacking something without any actual facts to support it. Then I read this, a statement issued by the General Chiropractic Council of the UK in May of this year:
The chiropractic vertebral subluxation complex is an historical concept but it remains a theoretical model. It is not supported by any clinical research evidence that would allow claims to be made that it is the cause of disease or health concerns.
That was enough for me. I'm really not saying chiropractic care is fake. What I am saying is be careful and do your research. If you have a back problem, sure, I can see how a couple cracks may help out (except in my case). Just be wary of a chiropractor promising things that sound impossible, because there is a chance they just might be.
That topic is, most obviously, chiropractors. WHAT??
I really have no clue why this touches such a nerve with some people. If you don't "buy" it, don't go. If you DO go and it helps, spectacular.
So, why do I bring it up?
I realized I am strongly on one side of the fence about chiropractors. I have never had a lot of confidence or trust in the process of spinal manipulation. Nothing personal to the practice, it was always just "not my thing."
As I was trying to come up ideas for a new entry here, I started kind of polling people about there thoughts on the matter. I was amazed at how polarizing this topic was. Some people swear by them and others think they are frauds...both phrases I actually heard.
It was odd to me to hear just how against this practice some people were considering it "is the third largest health profession, behind medicine and dentistry." Thanks, Wikipedia.
Now, because I like to pretend to be professional journalist I decided to dig a little deeper. The more research I did, the more my previous opinion of this practice was magnified. This stuff is creepy.
First off, in several writings I found chiropractic care referred to as pseudoscience or "fake" science. This sounded a little harsh even for someone like me who was already on the "boo" side of this chiropractic fence. So, I did what any reasonable profession arguer would do and I looked up definitions.
Pseudoscience - a claim, belief, or practice posing as science, but which does not constitute or adhere to an appropriate scientific methodology, lacks supporting evidence or plausibility, or otherwise lacks scientific status.
Yep, sounds pretty harsh. And now....
Chiropractic - a health care discipline and profession that emphasizes diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mechanical disorders of the musculoskeletal system, especially the spine, under the hypothesis that these disorders affect general health via the nervous system.
A medical practice based purely on a hypothesis? Well, here's a story for ya.
In 1973, Stephen Barrett, M.D., sent a healthy four-year-old girl to five chiropractors for a "check up." The first said the child's shoulder blades were "out of place" and found "pinched nerves to her stomach and gall bladder." The second said the child's pelvis was "twisted." The third said one hip was "elevated" and that spinal misalignments could cause "headaches, nervousness, equilibrium or digestive problems" in the future. The fourth predicted "bad periods and rough childbirth" if her "shorter left leg" were not treated. The fifth not only found hip and neck problems, but also "adjusted" them without bothering to ask permission.
Yes, I know it's not right to just throw a story on here and say, "SEE?? I told you!" I also understand it is very possible there is such thing as a bad chiropractor and this story is a needle in a haystack of an otherwise solid medical practice. Well, I have multiple personal experiences that formed my original opinion.
We have had several patients come into the eye clinic over the years saying their chiropractor had told them he/she has fixed their various eye problems from glaucoma to cataracts. Cataracts. An age related problem that has/will happened in 100% of human beings fixed by an adjustment in the spinal cord. You can still be a dummy and understand that don't make no sense.
Now the story that tugged me to the side of the fence I reside on today. My own trip to the chiropractor. When I was 20, I began having significant lower back pain. Bad enough that when I would brush my teeth in the morning I would essentially have to get into push up position on the sink and lower myself down to drink water out of the faucet. My boss at the time recommended I take a trip to her chiropractor who she, shocker, swears by.
On my first visit, a scan revealed my spine was completely out of alignment and he was surprised I wasn't having more health problems because of how bad it was. He had me coming back three times a week for a month. It would have continued beyond that but my insurance said they were going to stop covering it because he couldn't explain why these visits needed to be so frequent. Once they approached with me with a payment plan so I could continue my treatment, I decided that was enough.
My pain had slightly declined over that month but I was still getting in my toothbrush workout every morning.
The pain, you ask? Yeah, I bought a new bed. Problem solved instantly.
I still understood I didn't really have any quotes/comments directly from a chiropractor to validate this practice as pseudoscience. Most things I read were almost entirely opinion based, so I didn't really feel comfortable about attacking something without any actual facts to support it. Then I read this, a statement issued by the General Chiropractic Council of the UK in May of this year:
The chiropractic vertebral subluxation complex is an historical concept but it remains a theoretical model. It is not supported by any clinical research evidence that would allow claims to be made that it is the cause of disease or health concerns.
That was enough for me. I'm really not saying chiropractic care is fake. What I am saying is be careful and do your research. If you have a back problem, sure, I can see how a couple cracks may help out (except in my case). Just be wary of a chiropractor promising things that sound impossible, because there is a chance they just might be.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
the shamwow of 2011.
As I begin to dabble more in cooking I've been spending much more time at the grocery store. Not more trips necessarily, but I'm just there WAY longer. I have no idea where anything is.
For the last couple years, I would generally buy the same things every time I went. I'm know realizing the reason I would always eat the same thing. It had nothing to do with how much I liked what I was purchasing, it was simply because I knew where it was.
For some reason, I just really dislike grocery shopping. Maybe it's the stereotypical man thing of just not wanting to shop, period. Just like the stereotype, when I buy pants I never try them on first. When I get home, if they don't fit, whatever. The less time I have to spend in that store, the better. Same goes for groceries. I just REALLY don't want to spend 20 minutes walking around looking for kumquats (yep, spell checked).
I'm actually assuming most families are similar to this. Sure, you might have a "special" meal every know and then, but I think generally growing up, we'd usually have the same stuff around the house most of the time.
So, what happens when you start experimenting with cooking new things? What happens when you decide to make a special dish for the family? I think it can take an unnecessary amount of time looking for food. We live in a world of now. Freaking toothbrushes are digital, yet are grocery stores still have those massive signs hanging above each aisle that tells you about 0.4% of what items actually reside in that aisle. Why are they so far behind?
My solution.......
a Dewey Decimal System for FOOD!
Here's the sell. You're just coming off a hard days work and on your way your spouse calls your cell and says the kids want something special tonight. You want to say, "Tell the kids to plant a garden!! I'm making a detour! Pick me up at the bar around 11," but instead, because you made some crazy vow to honor your spouse, you say, "Sure, honey. I'll make something super special for you and all of our lovely children!"
You obviously want to make this trip as quick as possible because you really want to get home and you mouths to feed when you get there. Spending 25 extra minutes trying to find a handful of carbs in this food haystack is not efficient.
Luckily, THIS store has "FoodFinder" (yeah, whatever, you think up a better name), an interactive touch screen (it will work better than Red Box. Seriously, how hard can a human possibly have to push to....forget it) that allows to search for several specific ingredients OR brand new recipes online.
If you just want a couple items, you can print off (or get the iPhone app coming in Spring) all the junk your looking for and it will give you specifics to wear those items are located.
If you are in mood for making something special you've never made before, for example our anonymous family man/woman mentioned above, you search the database for specific recipes. Then, once you find a winner you print off that list giving you the exact locations of each item you need to purchase.
TA-DA! Those mouths get fed sooner and you get home that much sooner to enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home while your kids run around spitting on each other or whatever it is kids do.
Maybe this is a horrible idea, but I'm kinda surprised I've never seen anything like this at least attempted. Doesn't it kind of seem, though, the grocery stores haven't really changed in the past 20+ years....at all? Unless you count Cub Foods and their thumbprint payment thing. What a massive train wreck.
Anyway, please someone steal this from me and make it happen. I don't have time to actually develop this further. I have to return a pair of jeans.
For the last couple years, I would generally buy the same things every time I went. I'm know realizing the reason I would always eat the same thing. It had nothing to do with how much I liked what I was purchasing, it was simply because I knew where it was.
For some reason, I just really dislike grocery shopping. Maybe it's the stereotypical man thing of just not wanting to shop, period. Just like the stereotype, when I buy pants I never try them on first. When I get home, if they don't fit, whatever. The less time I have to spend in that store, the better. Same goes for groceries. I just REALLY don't want to spend 20 minutes walking around looking for kumquats (yep, spell checked).
I'm actually assuming most families are similar to this. Sure, you might have a "special" meal every know and then, but I think generally growing up, we'd usually have the same stuff around the house most of the time.
So, what happens when you start experimenting with cooking new things? What happens when you decide to make a special dish for the family? I think it can take an unnecessary amount of time looking for food. We live in a world of now. Freaking toothbrushes are digital, yet are grocery stores still have those massive signs hanging above each aisle that tells you about 0.4% of what items actually reside in that aisle. Why are they so far behind?
My solution.......
a Dewey Decimal System for FOOD!
Here's the sell. You're just coming off a hard days work and on your way your spouse calls your cell and says the kids want something special tonight. You want to say, "Tell the kids to plant a garden!! I'm making a detour! Pick me up at the bar around 11," but instead, because you made some crazy vow to honor your spouse, you say, "Sure, honey. I'll make something super special for you and all of our lovely children!"
You obviously want to make this trip as quick as possible because you really want to get home and you mouths to feed when you get there. Spending 25 extra minutes trying to find a handful of carbs in this food haystack is not efficient.
Luckily, THIS store has "FoodFinder" (yeah, whatever, you think up a better name), an interactive touch screen (it will work better than Red Box. Seriously, how hard can a human possibly have to push to....forget it) that allows to search for several specific ingredients OR brand new recipes online.
If you just want a couple items, you can print off (or get the iPhone app coming in Spring) all the junk your looking for and it will give you specifics to wear those items are located.
If you are in mood for making something special you've never made before, for example our anonymous family man/woman mentioned above, you search the database for specific recipes. Then, once you find a winner you print off that list giving you the exact locations of each item you need to purchase.
TA-DA! Those mouths get fed sooner and you get home that much sooner to enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home while your kids run around spitting on each other or whatever it is kids do.
Maybe this is a horrible idea, but I'm kinda surprised I've never seen anything like this at least attempted. Doesn't it kind of seem, though, the grocery stores haven't really changed in the past 20+ years....at all? Unless you count Cub Foods and their thumbprint payment thing. What a massive train wreck.
Anyway, please someone steal this from me and make it happen. I don't have time to actually develop this further. I have to return a pair of jeans.
Friday, September 10, 2010
a close shave.
Many of you know by now of the epic debacle that is my left shoulder. For those that don't, recap:
Towards the end of July, I began having some discomfort with an occasional shooting pain through my left shoulder when I would lift my arm. I honestly didn't give it much thought for a couple weeks since I get hurt doing anything that involves running, jumping, rowing, diving, juggling, bending, and breathing. I assumed it was just another muscle pull or bruise and it would heal up on it's own.
Welllll, after week two I realized this was not going away, but actually getting worse. I took a trip to my family doc and he did the ol', "Does it hurt here?," "Here?," "Hmmmm," "What about....?," "And THIS!?," "What? Lawsuit?? What?." He tells me it's "probably" tendonitis, although it could be a torn rotator cuff.
My reply. "Is there any other test we could do, like an x-ray or something to rule out the whole rotator cuff tear?"
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's tendonitis. Go do physical therapy for 4-6 weeks."
And off I went to physical therapy or P.T. if you like to keep it real.
Well, after 7 weeks (yep, threw in that extra one cause I just didn't feel like I needed that extra $100), I still get a massively strong shooting pain through it if I move it just right. And, I am not bragging at all but I feel like after nearly a handful of kidney stones, I have a pretty good understanding of what hurt feels like.
And this brings us to today. I just back from a return visit to the family doc for the x-ray I requested almost 8 weeks ago. The result??? Nothing...which leaves us with three possibilites:
1) The rotator cuff is torn (found out this cannot be detected with an x-ray, only with an MRI, which doc says is "very expensive").
2) The inflammation is severe enough I need to start doing cortisone injections.
3) (my personal favorite) An injury has thrown off my shoulder gear (I just made that up) enough that my muscle is catching on the bone when I rotate my shoulder in a certain direction. The fix? Shave off a portion of my clavicle.
Sign. Me. Up.
I know I'm still obviously joking around about all this but it is becoming very frustrating. When I was filling out some backround info in the waiting area for the physical therapist, there was a question that asked, 'Is your condition causing depression and do you feel like you need to seek counseling' (or something like that). I laughed when I read it because I'm thinking if you're getting depressed over a sprained ankle, you need real problems.
But, to be honest, this really does get you down. I've had a very difficult time sleeping for nearly 3 months because I'm so restricted to what positions I can sleep in without pain, I get pain every time I take a shirt on or off and I really can't do any type of athletics without causing extreme amounts of pain.
I'm just praying for a simple fix. My checking account can't handle a clavicle shave...and neither can my brain.
Towards the end of July, I began having some discomfort with an occasional shooting pain through my left shoulder when I would lift my arm. I honestly didn't give it much thought for a couple weeks since I get hurt doing anything that involves running, jumping, rowing, diving, juggling, bending, and breathing. I assumed it was just another muscle pull or bruise and it would heal up on it's own.
Welllll, after week two I realized this was not going away, but actually getting worse. I took a trip to my family doc and he did the ol', "Does it hurt here?," "Here?," "Hmmmm," "What about....?," "And THIS!?," "What? Lawsuit?? What?." He tells me it's "probably" tendonitis, although it could be a torn rotator cuff.
My reply. "Is there any other test we could do, like an x-ray or something to rule out the whole rotator cuff tear?"
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's tendonitis. Go do physical therapy for 4-6 weeks."
And off I went to physical therapy or P.T. if you like to keep it real.
Well, after 7 weeks (yep, threw in that extra one cause I just didn't feel like I needed that extra $100), I still get a massively strong shooting pain through it if I move it just right. And, I am not bragging at all but I feel like after nearly a handful of kidney stones, I have a pretty good understanding of what hurt feels like.
And this brings us to today. I just back from a return visit to the family doc for the x-ray I requested almost 8 weeks ago. The result??? Nothing...which leaves us with three possibilites:
1) The rotator cuff is torn (found out this cannot be detected with an x-ray, only with an MRI, which doc says is "very expensive").
2) The inflammation is severe enough I need to start doing cortisone injections.
3) (my personal favorite) An injury has thrown off my shoulder gear (I just made that up) enough that my muscle is catching on the bone when I rotate my shoulder in a certain direction. The fix? Shave off a portion of my clavicle.
Sign. Me. Up.
I know I'm still obviously joking around about all this but it is becoming very frustrating. When I was filling out some backround info in the waiting area for the physical therapist, there was a question that asked, 'Is your condition causing depression and do you feel like you need to seek counseling' (or something like that). I laughed when I read it because I'm thinking if you're getting depressed over a sprained ankle, you need real problems.
But, to be honest, this really does get you down. I've had a very difficult time sleeping for nearly 3 months because I'm so restricted to what positions I can sleep in without pain, I get pain every time I take a shirt on or off and I really can't do any type of athletics without causing extreme amounts of pain.
I'm just praying for a simple fix. My checking account can't handle a clavicle shave...and neither can my brain.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
convicted by....katy perry?
I'm going through a really odd mix of emotions right now. I'm going to be honest, I have little to no respect for Katy Perry. So...THAT'S out there.
Selling music based off a catchy beat and hanging your cleavage out so no one actually attempts to judge you based on your heart and/or intelligence doesn't really...I don't know...do it for me?
I know that's probably a little harsh, but after reading her Wikipedia page (seriously) I really have a difficult time appreciating her "art."
She was actually raised by Christian parents (father was a pastor) and grew up only being allowed to listen to gospel music. She began pursuing her music career in early high school and released her first (gospel...yep) album in 2001.
After several stints with numerous record labels she finally made it big with "I Kissed a Girl" in 2008. What a difference seven years can make.
The way I see it, she wanted nothing more than to make music. Since she couldn't survive in the Christian industry, she took a 180 (that's putting it nicely) and decided to make music that could fulfill men's fantasies both lyrically and visually in order to "make it."
Maybe I'm off base, but as an outsider this certainly looks like what transpired.
Earlier today on Twitter I caught a glimpse of Andy Merrick's post:
last night my friend @nicatnitemusic said katy perry's song "who am i living for" was amazing. she was right. most profound pop song award!
This kinda piqued my interest so I went to You Tube and gave a listen.
I was (and maybe still am) a little blown away. Wait, can you really be a little blown away? Probably not.
SIDE NOTE
SUDDEN STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS RESULTING IN COMEDIC OBSERVATION: How bothersome is it when people use the wrong verbage/adverbage to give something significance? Specifically, the word literally. "That literally blew my mind." Really? So you are telling me that the aspect of intellect and consciousness experienced as combinations of thought, perception, memory, emotion, will and imagination, including all unconscious cognitive processeses inside of you just exploded? Come on, pal.
END SIDE NOTE
The song literally shocked me (Sorry, I couldn't resist. Unfortunately, the joke isn't as funny as it could have been if I would have referenced it later in this post. I believe it's referred to as a "call back").
OK, let's try this again. It is an amazingly moving song!! Honestly, of any new "secular" (man, I hate that term) song I've heard in a very long time, this is absolutely screaming for Jesus. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:
I can see the writing on the wall,
I can't ignore this war,
At the end of it all,
Who am I living for?
I truly commend Miss Perry for putting this song on her new album. I know millions of people will listen to it and not see that she is singing about Jesus, but like everything else, some will. Unfortunately, they have to buy an album with a half naked woman on the front to get to it, but the message is getting out and if just one person is reached, praise God. He certainly DOES work in mysterious ways.
Some people might raise the concern that I'm digging for spiritual meaning in a place it doesn't exist, so here is your proof. Take a listen.
Selling music based off a catchy beat and hanging your cleavage out so no one actually attempts to judge you based on your heart and/or intelligence doesn't really...I don't know...do it for me?
I know that's probably a little harsh, but after reading her Wikipedia page (seriously) I really have a difficult time appreciating her "art."
She was actually raised by Christian parents (father was a pastor) and grew up only being allowed to listen to gospel music. She began pursuing her music career in early high school and released her first (gospel...yep) album in 2001.
After several stints with numerous record labels she finally made it big with "I Kissed a Girl" in 2008. What a difference seven years can make.
The way I see it, she wanted nothing more than to make music. Since she couldn't survive in the Christian industry, she took a 180 (that's putting it nicely) and decided to make music that could fulfill men's fantasies both lyrically and visually in order to "make it."
Maybe I'm off base, but as an outsider this certainly looks like what transpired.
Earlier today on Twitter I caught a glimpse of Andy Merrick's post:
last night my friend @nicatnitemusic said katy perry's song "who am i living for" was amazing. she was right. most profound pop song award!
This kinda piqued my interest so I went to You Tube and gave a listen.
I was (and maybe still am) a little blown away. Wait, can you really be a little blown away? Probably not.
SIDE NOTE
SUDDEN STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS RESULTING IN COMEDIC OBSERVATION: How bothersome is it when people use the wrong verbage/adverbage to give something significance? Specifically, the word literally. "That literally blew my mind." Really? So you are telling me that the aspect of intellect and consciousness experienced as combinations of thought, perception, memory, emotion, will and imagination, including all unconscious cognitive processeses inside of you just exploded? Come on, pal.
END SIDE NOTE
The song literally shocked me (Sorry, I couldn't resist. Unfortunately, the joke isn't as funny as it could have been if I would have referenced it later in this post. I believe it's referred to as a "call back").
OK, let's try this again. It is an amazingly moving song!! Honestly, of any new "secular" (man, I hate that term) song I've heard in a very long time, this is absolutely screaming for Jesus. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:
I can see the writing on the wall,
I can't ignore this war,
At the end of it all,
Who am I living for?
I truly commend Miss Perry for putting this song on her new album. I know millions of people will listen to it and not see that she is singing about Jesus, but like everything else, some will. Unfortunately, they have to buy an album with a half naked woman on the front to get to it, but the message is getting out and if just one person is reached, praise God. He certainly DOES work in mysterious ways.
Some people might raise the concern that I'm digging for spiritual meaning in a place it doesn't exist, so here is your proof. Take a listen.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
"i think we're going to have to watch that again."
(CONTAINS LOST SPOILERS)
Sooooo, Lost. Yep, just can't let it die can I? Of all my friends who watched the finale, I think it was a pretty even split down the middle of those who were satisfied with the show's conclusion and those that thought it was absolutely terrible. Notice I said 'satisfied with the conclusion' and not 'loved the conclusion.' I think this is a pretty key statement.
I personally was very satisfied (not ecstatic) about the ending. I really thought the show could not have ended any better than it did. Why didn't I love it then? I agonized week after week wanting answers...for six years. After the finale, I hadn't gotten any of those answers. Zero. But, the satisfaction of the finale came from the emotional attachment I had put into these characters...for six years. I genuinely cared about these people and what happened to them. In 'The End,' I got closure to the biggest the biggest question I never asked. Why THESE people? That ending in the church was the conclusion of the story this group of people I put so much stock in. And it was beautiful.
ANYWAY, I'm not writing this as a recap of the Lost finale. Been there done that. I'm putting you all through this set up because you are all about to get many of your Lost questions answered. Seriously.
After the finale, I read in Entertainment Weekly that they were going to add an epilogue to the Season 6 DVD called "The New Man in Charge" that would give you a little further insight into what happened on the island after the plain left and Jack died next to Vincent (tear). It was a brief glimpse into the lives of Hurley and Ben as leaders of the island.
Well, a friend somehow found it. Yep. I just watched it. I was promised answers but really wasn't expecting a whole lot. In the words of John Locke when he doesn't push the button, "I WAS WRONG!"
In my previous entry where I offered my thoughts on the finale, I listed my own top 8 unanswered questions to Lost. In this 12 minute video, I got an answer to 4 of those, plus 3 more major answers to questions I did not have listed. That equals 7 kids! 7 major Lost answers in 12 minutes!!!
Those answers include:
1) Pierre Chang and all his names.
2) Why women can't have children on the island.
3) Polar bears? On a tropical island???
4) The food pallet drop.
5) How Dharma learned of Jacob.
6) THE HURLEY BIRD!!
7) And most importantly......actually, I'll save the last one for the video. :)
How about I just share it, huh?! I thought about not including the link just to be funny, but I quickly realized it would not JUST be funny, but equal parts funny and horrible.
The video player is a little goofy. When you hit the red play button in the middle, it will turn green after a couple seconds. You'll have to hit play again to view "The New Man in Charge!" So, take a deep breath, grab your popcorn and enjoy your answers!
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=NK6VVI14
Hmm, sorry, for some reason when I post this as a link it doesn't show up when I publish. Guess you have to do it the old fashioned way and copy and paste. Sorry for the inconvience.
Sooooo, Lost. Yep, just can't let it die can I? Of all my friends who watched the finale, I think it was a pretty even split down the middle of those who were satisfied with the show's conclusion and those that thought it was absolutely terrible. Notice I said 'satisfied with the conclusion' and not 'loved the conclusion.' I think this is a pretty key statement.
I personally was very satisfied (not ecstatic) about the ending. I really thought the show could not have ended any better than it did. Why didn't I love it then? I agonized week after week wanting answers...for six years. After the finale, I hadn't gotten any of those answers. Zero. But, the satisfaction of the finale came from the emotional attachment I had put into these characters...for six years. I genuinely cared about these people and what happened to them. In 'The End,' I got closure to the biggest the biggest question I never asked. Why THESE people? That ending in the church was the conclusion of the story this group of people I put so much stock in. And it was beautiful.
ANYWAY, I'm not writing this as a recap of the Lost finale. Been there done that. I'm putting you all through this set up because you are all about to get many of your Lost questions answered. Seriously.
After the finale, I read in Entertainment Weekly that they were going to add an epilogue to the Season 6 DVD called "The New Man in Charge" that would give you a little further insight into what happened on the island after the plain left and Jack died next to Vincent (tear). It was a brief glimpse into the lives of Hurley and Ben as leaders of the island.
Well, a friend somehow found it. Yep. I just watched it. I was promised answers but really wasn't expecting a whole lot. In the words of John Locke when he doesn't push the button, "I WAS WRONG!"
In my previous entry where I offered my thoughts on the finale, I listed my own top 8 unanswered questions to Lost. In this 12 minute video, I got an answer to 4 of those, plus 3 more major answers to questions I did not have listed. That equals 7 kids! 7 major Lost answers in 12 minutes!!!
Those answers include:
1) Pierre Chang and all his names.
2) Why women can't have children on the island.
3) Polar bears? On a tropical island???
4) The food pallet drop.
5) How Dharma learned of Jacob.
6) THE HURLEY BIRD!!
7) And most importantly......actually, I'll save the last one for the video. :)
How about I just share it, huh?! I thought about not including the link just to be funny, but I quickly realized it would not JUST be funny, but equal parts funny and horrible.
The video player is a little goofy. When you hit the red play button in the middle, it will turn green after a couple seconds. You'll have to hit play again to view "The New Man in Charge!" So, take a deep breath, grab your popcorn and enjoy your answers!
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=NK6VVI14
Hmm, sorry, for some reason when I post this as a link it doesn't show up when I publish. Guess you have to do it the old fashioned way and copy and paste. Sorry for the inconvience.
Friday, July 23, 2010
once upon a time.
I've tried my hand a writing a few stories, but end up giving up because I just don't feel they are any good.
A few years back, after several unsuccessful writing attempts, I read a book entitled "Crafty Screenwriting" that really rocked my world in exactly HOW you go about writing a story.
Right off the bat the book says, "Don't start by writing a story." I was puzzled, so I continued on.
It asks the question of what the point of writing is if you don't even know if you have a good story. What the book says to do is to instead just start talking to people about your story, any that will listen. The more you tell it, the more details you begin to add to it.
You know you've got something when people start asking questions about plot/characters/setting. THEN you know you've got a story. Once people seem to be invested in this fantasy you're laying on them.
So, I thought I'd give it a shot. Why not? Below are the three main stories I've tried to write or have thought about writing. I actually am a little nervous because I've always been super protective of this stuff, not wanting people to think I'm a weirdo for coming up with these. It really is just a few stories that I thought might be intriguing or that I would be interested in reading if someone explained the idea to me. Anyway, here they are!!!
1) Waiting on an Angel - A drama about finding that "special someone." Seriously. No, I'm serious. Why are you laughing? This was script I started working on when I was going through an extremely difficult time in my life after breaking up with my girlfriend of nearly two years. Writing this really helped me look for the positive in every relationship and no matter how good or how bad, you can learn from it.
Before I started writing, I actually prepared a 32 song soundtrack, organizing the songs in a way that they told the story chronologically.
The story begins with a couple breaking up in the winter months. In the spring, he begins another relationship, then summer another, fall another, and then the film concludes the following winter. The story is to show the man's growth relationally as each season comes and goes. It seems very subtle as the story is progressing, but as we see him at the end in the winter, putting him in the same environment as which we first saw him, we can obviously identify how much he has changed.
What girl does he end up with? Does he end up with anyone??? DRAAA-MAAAAA!!!
2) Good Faith Manor - A classic horror setting with mind-blowing twist! Five friends take a trip into an abandon mansion that used to be an insane asylum. They are scoping out the place before things start to....come on, you know the story.
The asylum was burned down many years ago and was rebuilt on the same foundation and converted into a retirement home, which was later abandon.
This is actually based on a true story of an old retirement home just north of Boone. Went in it once several years ago (before it was torn down) and that sucker was flat out creepy.
This story unfortunately sounds really cliche, but I really can't give away the twist because it kind of defeats the purpose of even writing the thing. I have told a couple people about it and they all had extremely positive responses to the twist (one friend told me he got chills when I revealed it to him. WHAAAAAAT?).
The ending is what makes this different from your classic ghost story. I feel the ending is actually very powerful as it deals strongly with matters of faith, forgiveness and following Christ.
3) The Reigning Down - Here is your epic thriller. Think DaVinci Code but not ridiculous. It deals with a young historian that stumbles across something very puzzling in his research. There is a period of 700 years that are completely unaccounted for. He can't find any information of any people or any events that took place during this time. The last bit of information he uncovers is an unnatural solar eclipse followed the same day by a harvest moon and then.....nothing, for 700 years.
As he begins to dig deeper, he realizes there are those out there trying to protect a secret!
And a MASSIVE twist at the end, which, of course, I can't say a thing about.
So, based on these synopsis...es..is, which of these stories sound worthy of being written? Which one do you have the most questions about? Which are terrible? Awful altogether and back to the drawing board?
I would love to hear any and all feedback because I really would like to write a story someday. Not necessarily any of these, but I feel like "writing a book/screenplay" is definetely on my bucket list.
A few years back, after several unsuccessful writing attempts, I read a book entitled "Crafty Screenwriting" that really rocked my world in exactly HOW you go about writing a story.
Right off the bat the book says, "Don't start by writing a story." I was puzzled, so I continued on.
It asks the question of what the point of writing is if you don't even know if you have a good story. What the book says to do is to instead just start talking to people about your story, any that will listen. The more you tell it, the more details you begin to add to it.
You know you've got something when people start asking questions about plot/characters/setting. THEN you know you've got a story. Once people seem to be invested in this fantasy you're laying on them.
So, I thought I'd give it a shot. Why not? Below are the three main stories I've tried to write or have thought about writing. I actually am a little nervous because I've always been super protective of this stuff, not wanting people to think I'm a weirdo for coming up with these. It really is just a few stories that I thought might be intriguing or that I would be interested in reading if someone explained the idea to me. Anyway, here they are!!!
1) Waiting on an Angel - A drama about finding that "special someone." Seriously. No, I'm serious. Why are you laughing? This was script I started working on when I was going through an extremely difficult time in my life after breaking up with my girlfriend of nearly two years. Writing this really helped me look for the positive in every relationship and no matter how good or how bad, you can learn from it.
Before I started writing, I actually prepared a 32 song soundtrack, organizing the songs in a way that they told the story chronologically.
The story begins with a couple breaking up in the winter months. In the spring, he begins another relationship, then summer another, fall another, and then the film concludes the following winter. The story is to show the man's growth relationally as each season comes and goes. It seems very subtle as the story is progressing, but as we see him at the end in the winter, putting him in the same environment as which we first saw him, we can obviously identify how much he has changed.
What girl does he end up with? Does he end up with anyone??? DRAAA-MAAAAA!!!
2) Good Faith Manor - A classic horror setting with mind-blowing twist! Five friends take a trip into an abandon mansion that used to be an insane asylum. They are scoping out the place before things start to....come on, you know the story.
The asylum was burned down many years ago and was rebuilt on the same foundation and converted into a retirement home, which was later abandon.
This is actually based on a true story of an old retirement home just north of Boone. Went in it once several years ago (before it was torn down) and that sucker was flat out creepy.
This story unfortunately sounds really cliche, but I really can't give away the twist because it kind of defeats the purpose of even writing the thing. I have told a couple people about it and they all had extremely positive responses to the twist (one friend told me he got chills when I revealed it to him. WHAAAAAAT?).
The ending is what makes this different from your classic ghost story. I feel the ending is actually very powerful as it deals strongly with matters of faith, forgiveness and following Christ.
3) The Reigning Down - Here is your epic thriller. Think DaVinci Code but not ridiculous. It deals with a young historian that stumbles across something very puzzling in his research. There is a period of 700 years that are completely unaccounted for. He can't find any information of any people or any events that took place during this time. The last bit of information he uncovers is an unnatural solar eclipse followed the same day by a harvest moon and then.....nothing, for 700 years.
As he begins to dig deeper, he realizes there are those out there trying to protect a secret!
And a MASSIVE twist at the end, which, of course, I can't say a thing about.
So, based on these synopsis...es..is, which of these stories sound worthy of being written? Which one do you have the most questions about? Which are terrible? Awful altogether and back to the drawing board?
I would love to hear any and all feedback because I really would like to write a story someday. Not necessarily any of these, but I feel like "writing a book/screenplay" is definetely on my bucket list.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
if i woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, i wouldn't be as surprised as i am now.
Soooooooo, what a day. The day where zero goes right. The day you just can't wait to end. Sometimes I just have describe a day as "shock and awe." Twas the day today.
But this, folks, is why I created this blog. Here is a direct quote from my very first blog entry:
"I need to document my quirky life experiences somewhere and this is admittedly a terrific forum to project such stories. It seems on a weekly basis I have some event or encounter that just simply makes me have to laugh because it's just so bizarre."
Yep, today was the consummate exemplification of weird.
First off, I guess second off, let's just toss out the follow up insult that was simply salt in the wound of the initial injury.
I went into the bathroom around noon to see how big the cedar tree was i had lodged in my eye. As I leaned into the mirror only to realize it was simply an eyelash, my tie activated the automatic hand washer in the high class restroom in our Des Moines office. Yeah, remember my previous entries about my utter hatred of technology. There's another check on the pro-neandrethal side.
Again, this was only the proverbial icing on the bizzaro cake.
Here is what preceded the Soggy Tie '10 party. And, I must warn you, this is superbly uncomfortable.
I stroll out to the waiting area in our Des Moines office to call a patient by the first name of James. For those of you that aren't hip to these new-agey, pre-New Testament names, James is, in fact, a boy name.
So, I call upon James. No answer. I call again. Slowly, an older woman in a electric wheel chair, slightly hunched over whips that Rascal around and starts cruising up to me. She stops the chair right at my feet. She has medium length gray hair covering some of her face, a beautiful navy blue blazer Jesse Spano would flip out over and a cute, little, pink flat (it's a type of shoe, dudes). I say shoe (not plural) because she only had one leg (Really not relevant, but for some reason just makes the story better...kind of like C-3PO in Star Wars).
I lean down to correct her mistake and speak rather loudly (assuming she is going to be hard of hearing or not necessarily 100% with us mentally), "No, ma'am, I'm looking for James!"
The other 10-15 folks sitting in the waiting area suddenly become interested, because we all love a train wreck, even if we don't know we are about to see one.
The woman looks up and replies in a rather husky tone, "I am James."
I instantly transport myself into the Snickers, "Wanna get away?" commercial as my face begins to feel like I decided to swap my pillow for a bonfire.
But, don't worry, folks. I feel like I recovered nicely. About as nicely as anyone could, I think, after the whole "So, when's the baby due"-esque foot-straight-to-mouth question I spewed out all over waiting area A.
We actually had a great conversation. He was a very nice guy. I really can't help but laugh about it now, but HOW UNCOMFORTABLE! I felt terrible.
But, hey, if you're dressing up like a lady, wouldn't you be flattered for someone to assume you are one? Whatever, just let me keep telling myself that. It's going to help me sleep tonight.
But this, folks, is why I created this blog. Here is a direct quote from my very first blog entry:
"I need to document my quirky life experiences somewhere and this is admittedly a terrific forum to project such stories. It seems on a weekly basis I have some event or encounter that just simply makes me have to laugh because it's just so bizarre."
Yep, today was the consummate exemplification of weird.
First off, I guess second off, let's just toss out the follow up insult that was simply salt in the wound of the initial injury.
I went into the bathroom around noon to see how big the cedar tree was i had lodged in my eye. As I leaned into the mirror only to realize it was simply an eyelash, my tie activated the automatic hand washer in the high class restroom in our Des Moines office. Yeah, remember my previous entries about my utter hatred of technology. There's another check on the pro-neandrethal side.
Again, this was only the proverbial icing on the bizzaro cake.
Here is what preceded the Soggy Tie '10 party. And, I must warn you, this is superbly uncomfortable.
I stroll out to the waiting area in our Des Moines office to call a patient by the first name of James. For those of you that aren't hip to these new-agey, pre-New Testament names, James is, in fact, a boy name.
So, I call upon James. No answer. I call again. Slowly, an older woman in a electric wheel chair, slightly hunched over whips that Rascal around and starts cruising up to me. She stops the chair right at my feet. She has medium length gray hair covering some of her face, a beautiful navy blue blazer Jesse Spano would flip out over and a cute, little, pink flat (it's a type of shoe, dudes). I say shoe (not plural) because she only had one leg (Really not relevant, but for some reason just makes the story better...kind of like C-3PO in Star Wars).
I lean down to correct her mistake and speak rather loudly (assuming she is going to be hard of hearing or not necessarily 100% with us mentally), "No, ma'am, I'm looking for James!"
The other 10-15 folks sitting in the waiting area suddenly become interested, because we all love a train wreck, even if we don't know we are about to see one.
The woman looks up and replies in a rather husky tone, "I am James."
I instantly transport myself into the Snickers, "Wanna get away?" commercial as my face begins to feel like I decided to swap my pillow for a bonfire.
But, don't worry, folks. I feel like I recovered nicely. About as nicely as anyone could, I think, after the whole "So, when's the baby due"-esque foot-straight-to-mouth question I spewed out all over waiting area A.
We actually had a great conversation. He was a very nice guy. I really can't help but laugh about it now, but HOW UNCOMFORTABLE! I felt terrible.
But, hey, if you're dressing up like a lady, wouldn't you be flattered for someone to assume you are one? Whatever, just let me keep telling myself that. It's going to help me sleep tonight.
kind of like neo, minus the ability to dodge bullets.
A very good article for "the rest of us" from Relevant Magazine.
HOW TO FIND "THE ONE"
How do you find the right husband or wife? Is he or she “the one”? Finding a spouse seems so easy for some, but what about everyone else? When Mr. or Miss Right doesn’t seem to be on the horizon, many are left wondering ...
“What if I’ve missed the one? What if I turned down the one because I didn’t know if I was ready? What if I marry the wrong person? What if this isn’t the one God wants?”
My wife and I found that when looking for a future spouse, most people tend to put the focus on the other person, instead of themselves. The issue isn’t about finding the one, it’s about being the one.
Peter Haile, in his book The Difference God Makes, seems to agree saying,
“To be told [by God], ‘Jim, you are to marry Nancy,’ will be very unusual. I won’t say that it will never happen, but it is highly unlikely. Why? Because, compared with whether Jim trusts and loves God moment by moment and trusts and loves Nancy moment by moment, the choice of Nancy or someone else is virtually inconsequential. The will of God has primarily to do with who Jim is every second—what his thoughts, actions, attitudes and words are.”
What my wife and I tend to believe is that, any man and any woman can have a healthy marriage. It all depends on how much work both parties are willing to put into the relationship.
Perhaps God does not design a soul mate for everyone, but expects us to work towards being a good mate ... because to be a good mate is to take on the character and attitude of Christ. This kind of person has the freedom to choose any spouse, not because of what they get from that person, but because of what they can give.
So how do you become more and more “the one”? What does that look like when you’re single, in a relationship, or married? In effect becoming the one means to become a healthy person (emotionally, spiritually, physically, and so forth). You don’t have to be perfect, or even close to perfect, but on a journey towards becoming who God created you to be and ever more peaceful with who that exactly is. Here are some things to consider:
If you are not in a relationship ...
We feel it’s crucial to realize that no matter whom you marry, you will most likely have the same personal issues you did before marriage. It can feel like marriage is the answer to making everything in your life right, but in our experience, marriage tends to amplify problems, not solve them.
Instead of believing in this romantic fallacy, take stock of where you are personally. Consider your emotions, past, family, talents, dreams, hobbies, struggles, spirituality, sexuality and employment. Striving to make these areas healthy will not necessarily lead to finding a husband/wife. However, exerting yourself towards wholeness brings confidence, peace, and contentment. These traits are very attractive and if you do find a relationship, they will go a long way in making that relationship thrive.
If you’re dating or engaged ...
Focusing on yourself can be difficult when you’re dating or engaged. It’s so easy to see the ways your significant other can change. Instead, take time to identify how you can better be the one within a relationship.
Explore what Scripture says about being a husband or wife. Head to www.biblegateway.com and do a search on the words “marriage,” “husband,” and “wife” and see what comes up. Understand God’s expectations of you personally, as you prepare to be a husband or wife.
It would also be wise to consult friends and family. Get their assessments on how your individual strengths and weaknesses present themselves in your relationship. Ask what they foresee as the biggest challenges you will face in a future marriage. We’d recommend finding perspectives from people of different ages and in different kinds of relationships.
Some more suggestions for dating/engaged couples are:
- Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman to understand giving and receiving love.
- Take the Myers-Briggs personality test.
-Watch one another’s family dynamics. Talk about what you want to be different or the same in your relationship.
If you’re married ...
Marriage tends spotlight how self-absorbed we really are. Myself and my wife included. Selfishness rears its ugly head when our spouse hurts us, disappoints us, or otherwise falls short of what we expected them to be. This is the toughest place to be the one.
Still, there is hope if we put effort into living out our own marriage vows instead of forcing, nagging, or coaxing our spouse to live out theirs. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. Take responsibility for yourself and take your heart first to God, then to your spouse. Allow God to be your rock, the One who will never disappoint you. You’ll find that it’s easier to forgive as well as see areas you personally might need to work on.
Keep in mind, things won’t necessarily be easy now that you’ve done all this work at being the one. You and your spouse will have days where you’ll look at one another and ask, “What did we get ourselves into?” When that happens, you can remind yourselves why you got married in the first place. It wasn’t because you found “the one” but because you decided to be “the one.”
Jake and Melissa Kircher write about marriage and relationships at holymessofmarriage.blogspot.com.
HOW TO FIND "THE ONE"
How do you find the right husband or wife? Is he or she “the one”? Finding a spouse seems so easy for some, but what about everyone else? When Mr. or Miss Right doesn’t seem to be on the horizon, many are left wondering ...
“What if I’ve missed the one? What if I turned down the one because I didn’t know if I was ready? What if I marry the wrong person? What if this isn’t the one God wants?”
My wife and I found that when looking for a future spouse, most people tend to put the focus on the other person, instead of themselves. The issue isn’t about finding the one, it’s about being the one.
Peter Haile, in his book The Difference God Makes, seems to agree saying,
“To be told [by God], ‘Jim, you are to marry Nancy,’ will be very unusual. I won’t say that it will never happen, but it is highly unlikely. Why? Because, compared with whether Jim trusts and loves God moment by moment and trusts and loves Nancy moment by moment, the choice of Nancy or someone else is virtually inconsequential. The will of God has primarily to do with who Jim is every second—what his thoughts, actions, attitudes and words are.”
What my wife and I tend to believe is that, any man and any woman can have a healthy marriage. It all depends on how much work both parties are willing to put into the relationship.
Perhaps God does not design a soul mate for everyone, but expects us to work towards being a good mate ... because to be a good mate is to take on the character and attitude of Christ. This kind of person has the freedom to choose any spouse, not because of what they get from that person, but because of what they can give.
So how do you become more and more “the one”? What does that look like when you’re single, in a relationship, or married? In effect becoming the one means to become a healthy person (emotionally, spiritually, physically, and so forth). You don’t have to be perfect, or even close to perfect, but on a journey towards becoming who God created you to be and ever more peaceful with who that exactly is. Here are some things to consider:
If you are not in a relationship ...
We feel it’s crucial to realize that no matter whom you marry, you will most likely have the same personal issues you did before marriage. It can feel like marriage is the answer to making everything in your life right, but in our experience, marriage tends to amplify problems, not solve them.
Instead of believing in this romantic fallacy, take stock of where you are personally. Consider your emotions, past, family, talents, dreams, hobbies, struggles, spirituality, sexuality and employment. Striving to make these areas healthy will not necessarily lead to finding a husband/wife. However, exerting yourself towards wholeness brings confidence, peace, and contentment. These traits are very attractive and if you do find a relationship, they will go a long way in making that relationship thrive.
If you’re dating or engaged ...
Focusing on yourself can be difficult when you’re dating or engaged. It’s so easy to see the ways your significant other can change. Instead, take time to identify how you can better be the one within a relationship.
Explore what Scripture says about being a husband or wife. Head to www.biblegateway.com and do a search on the words “marriage,” “husband,” and “wife” and see what comes up. Understand God’s expectations of you personally, as you prepare to be a husband or wife.
It would also be wise to consult friends and family. Get their assessments on how your individual strengths and weaknesses present themselves in your relationship. Ask what they foresee as the biggest challenges you will face in a future marriage. We’d recommend finding perspectives from people of different ages and in different kinds of relationships.
Some more suggestions for dating/engaged couples are:
- Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman to understand giving and receiving love.
- Take the Myers-Briggs personality test.
-Watch one another’s family dynamics. Talk about what you want to be different or the same in your relationship.
If you’re married ...
Marriage tends spotlight how self-absorbed we really are. Myself and my wife included. Selfishness rears its ugly head when our spouse hurts us, disappoints us, or otherwise falls short of what we expected them to be. This is the toughest place to be the one.
Still, there is hope if we put effort into living out our own marriage vows instead of forcing, nagging, or coaxing our spouse to live out theirs. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. Take responsibility for yourself and take your heart first to God, then to your spouse. Allow God to be your rock, the One who will never disappoint you. You’ll find that it’s easier to forgive as well as see areas you personally might need to work on.
Keep in mind, things won’t necessarily be easy now that you’ve done all this work at being the one. You and your spouse will have days where you’ll look at one another and ask, “What did we get ourselves into?” When that happens, you can remind yourselves why you got married in the first place. It wasn’t because you found “the one” but because you decided to be “the one.”
Jake and Melissa Kircher write about marriage and relationships at holymessofmarriage.blogspot.com.
Friday, July 9, 2010
king kong ain't got nothin' on me!
I can't tell you how much crap I get for living in Somerset. "Oh, you live in the fancy part of Ames?" Heard that on more than one occasion. Well, sure I may be considered 'soft' based on the following facts.
Yeah, I know I work in the health care field.
No, I don't change my own oil.
Yes, I had to watch a You Tube video on how to fix my constantly running toilet.
No, I don't get dirty often.
Yes, I have super soft hands. I like to refer to them as "kitten pads."
Well, NOT NO MORE SUCKA'S!!!
Somerset is a war zone. I'm on the front lines. I've been living across the street from freaking Scarface! Believe it fools!!!
From KCCI.com:
"Officials said they executed a search warrant at 2514 Bristol Dr. in Ames on Thursday.
Officers said they found numerous marijuana plants growing inside the house. They also said they found anabolic steroids and more than a pound of manicured marijuana.
Clark Way, 36, and Renee Wrabek, 36, were charged with 15 counts of the violating the drug tax stamp law, possession with intent to deliver marijuana, possession of controlled substance (anabolic steroids), possession of controlled substance (hydrocodone), unlawful possession of prescription drugs and possession of marijuana with intent to manufacture (15 counts)."
Yep. Believe that! Across the freaking street!
So, go right on ahead. Mock my lifestyle. I've got it harder than you could ever know. When I go for jog, I'm packing my 9 mil. When I go down to the pond to read, switchblade. The Cafe for an iced latte? A set of brass knuckles. Casual jaunt to Fairway? Louisville Slugger.
Who's the girl now, clowns??!! I may indeed have kitten pad, soft hands. Don't mean I still can't pistol whip a fool upside his face!!!
OUT!!
P.S. No, I didn't get to actually see any the bust go down. I was too busy pouting cause I burned my marshmallow making smores at a bonfire. What of it? You don't know me, fool.
Yeah, I know I work in the health care field.
No, I don't change my own oil.
Yes, I had to watch a You Tube video on how to fix my constantly running toilet.
No, I don't get dirty often.
Yes, I have super soft hands. I like to refer to them as "kitten pads."
Well, NOT NO MORE SUCKA'S!!!
Somerset is a war zone. I'm on the front lines. I've been living across the street from freaking Scarface! Believe it fools!!!
From KCCI.com:
"Officials said they executed a search warrant at 2514 Bristol Dr. in Ames on Thursday.
Officers said they found numerous marijuana plants growing inside the house. They also said they found anabolic steroids and more than a pound of manicured marijuana.
Clark Way, 36, and Renee Wrabek, 36, were charged with 15 counts of the violating the drug tax stamp law, possession with intent to deliver marijuana, possession of controlled substance (anabolic steroids), possession of controlled substance (hydrocodone), unlawful possession of prescription drugs and possession of marijuana with intent to manufacture (15 counts)."
Yep. Believe that! Across the freaking street!
So, go right on ahead. Mock my lifestyle. I've got it harder than you could ever know. When I go for jog, I'm packing my 9 mil. When I go down to the pond to read, switchblade. The Cafe for an iced latte? A set of brass knuckles. Casual jaunt to Fairway? Louisville Slugger.
Who's the girl now, clowns??!! I may indeed have kitten pad, soft hands. Don't mean I still can't pistol whip a fool upside his face!!!
OUT!!
P.S. No, I didn't get to actually see any the bust go down. I was too busy pouting cause I burned my marshmallow making smores at a bonfire. What of it? You don't know me, fool.
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